Wedding Vibes

Chapter 2

My heart stutters even more as I jog past the reception, trying not to pay attention to the vibrating phone in my hand. Finally, I find a shady palm tree near enough to the reception if I need help and stop beneath it, wiping my sweaty palms against my leggings. The phone is still vibrating impatiently. Should I pick up? Or should I just let it ring? I have no idea what Rishabh will be like when I pick up. Will he be angry? Disappointed? Will he just brush it off? Or will he pretend it didn't happen at all?

I can remember the fight as clearly as if it was yesterday. Our relationship had been going really well; I'd had a feeling he was going to bust out the L word soon (it would've been time anyway; ten months is a long time). I'd gone over to the apartment that he shares with a friend; we'd had the place to ourselves that night, so we'd ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner, we'd been talking for a while. We had been laughing over my disaster of a first kiss when he'd suddenly blurted it out: "I don't think we should date anymore." I'd had no idea how to react; part of me had thought he was drunk even though he hadn't had a single drop of alcohol tonight, while part of me had known that he was probably being serious, but I hadn't processed it yet. So for the most part, I'd just stared at him, speechless.

He'd sighed and pushed my legs off his lap. "What do you mean?" I'd managed to croak out around the lump rapidly forming in my throat. 

"It's just that, I don't think I've felt the way I used to feel about you lately. I don't think I can take some things, you know? Maybe we're just not compatible for each other."

It felt as if someone had squeezed my insides really tightly. Just not compatible for each other? What crap was that? I almost couldn't believe my ears; Rishabh, my boyfriend for the past ten months, was breaking up. With me. Because he didn't have the same feelings for me anymore. Suddenly, something he said stood out to me.

"Wait, you said that you 'can't take some things'. What's that supposed to mean?!" My pulse echoed in my head, and I felt warm all over.

He'd sighed again. Wrung his hands a little. Once upon a time, I'd found his shyness adorable; then, I'd just wanted to slap him and tell him to stop beating around the bush. Finally he'd said in a defeated voice, "Well, it's just that some things that you do, that I used to find cute and endearing? They just don't... seem that way anymore."

"What the hell?!" Was the first thing I'd said, barely after he'd stopped talking. "You know what, you're not making any sense. This is ludicrous; we've been dating ten months, Rishabh. That's a long time. We've gotten to know the real versions of each other; there are bound to be things we don't like about each other! We're being really emotional right now. Maybe we should just take a few steps back-"

"No, Kalki; I've made up my mind. Don't discount my feelings like that! You really think I'm the kind of guy who'd do something like break up with someone without any real thought behind it?"

"All I'm saying is, we should think-"

"I have thought!" he'd yelled. Really loudly.

After a few moments of silence, I'd just picked up my backpack and left. And the next day, Amma, Papa, Sheetal di and I'd left for the resort. We hadn't spoken since.

And now here he is, on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" I say cautiously.

"Hey Kalki," comes the reply. Rishabh sounds the same, if not a little weary. I squeeze my eyes shut and lean against the trunk of the palm tree. I know that tone; it isn't going to lead anyplace good.

"So..." I hedge. Saying I have no idea what to do is an understatement; should I have hung up by now? Should I be yelling at him? Is he right? Am I wrong? Or are we both wrong? Am I even making any sense right now?