World Domination for Dummies

Sparring and Hospitals and Bloodlust, Oh My!

Gai, who was under about a million blankets, groaned as he cracked his eyes open to see me. "Tenrō?"

"Yeah," I approved, "Obito would have come, too, but he needed to stay to make up a test."

Gai hummed softly before letting out a cough.

I stared down apathetically before sighing deeply. "Look, Gai, don't try swimming at night with training weights again. It'll always make you sick."

"But I-"

"Youth is always ready to shine, yes, but if it hurts you in the process, can it really be called youth?" I questioned.

Gai thought about it for a moment before looking away. "I suppose not…"

"Exactly," I approved before patting his head gently. "Now, get well soon. Obito and I miss you."

Gai gave me a bright smile. "I'll get better in no time at all!"

"Excellent!" I chirped as I held up my thumb, the light glinting off of my teeth. I then turned heel and excused myself from his room.

Dai walked me out to the front door before suddenly kneeling down to my height. "Thank you for being Gai's friend. I can tell you're a good kid at heart."

I snorted as I looked back at him. "I'm not a good kid. I'll never be a good kid." I then took my leave and casually headed through the streets. I ended up at a dango shop and ordered a large plate. I then sat down and began eating them, swinging my feet back and forth as the seat I was on was too big for me. I wish I could meet Itachi and eat dango with him. I'll probably die before that can happen, with the war coming up in a few years and all.

Yep. Depression kicks in at the best of times. Please note the sarcasm.

I sighed deeply as I put down a stick of dango. "Maaah…" Just before I got to complain about how I missed my old life, someone sat down across the table from me. I looked up with a disgusted expression.

Orochimaru smiled at me in his usual jônin attire, meaning he didn't want to talk politics.

"Excuse me, but I was enjoying my alone time," I said as I continued to give the man a disgusted look.

"Oh, yes. I could tell by your heavy sigh that you were relishing your alone time with your depressing thoughts," he shot back with a sarcastic smile.

"Okay, first of all, I am the sass king. Don't make me tell you again." I gave the man a narrowed-eye look. "Second off, if I want alone time, it means leave me alone. Finally, who the fuck are you to say that I don't get off on sighing heavily while thinking of depressing things like no dango and my inevitable death?"

Orochimaru blinked at me. "You get off on that? I took you as a sadistic little kid with a rather large liking for sexual humor."

I snickered. "Okay, fine, you got me. I'm a sadistic little shit with a rather large liking for sexual humor and dead baby jokes."

Orochimaru's brow furrowed. "Dead baby jokes?"

I nodded. "How many babies does it take to paint a wall?"

The man contemplated it for a moment before saying, "I don't know."

"It depends on how hard you throw them," I said with a wide grin.

The man took a second to understand my joke before chuckling softly. "The blood of the babies is the paint. I never would have thought of that."

"Okay, next joke, how many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?" I asked with a giddy expression.