Dirty Little Secret // C.H.

Forty-eight

She had forgotten the calluses her fingers used to have from playing. They had faded away over the years. The soreness in her fingertips was a familiar feeling she welcomed gladly.

Calum broke Sienna out of her thoughts as he ended the silence.

"Why didn't you tell me you played guitar?"

She turned her head up to look up at him from where her head rested on his chest. She could see how quickly his mind was turning with questions.

"Gotta' keep you on your toes somehow, Hood." She told him playfully.

"No worries there." Calum assured her with a chuckle. "You're always finding ways to surprise me." He added. "But seriously, why didn't you ever mention it?" He asked with furrowed brows. "It's not like it was something you did every now and then-you are incredible. It had to take years to get that good. Which means you had to enjoy it." He continued. "Yet you never told me."

She could see it all over his face that he couldn't understand why she had never told him she used to play. She thought perhaps she should have mentioned it sooner since it was a big part of who she was, or had been, but some habits are hard to break. She had spent years forcing herself not to think about her music and after a while she had conditioned herself to leave the music behind. When Calum came along, her buried musical abilities didn't even cross her mind.

But now those abilities weren't buried anymore. They were out in the open and the guy she loved wanted to understand why they had ever been buried. So, she would tell him everything. It was time to let it out and let it go.

"Luke was always interested in music from the time we were kids." Sienna began. "Part of that rubbed off onto me I guess. I wanted to be just like him." She admitted with a chuckle. "So, as we got older, Luke began teaching me to do everything he could do and..." She paused for a moment as the memories came flooding back. "I fell in love with it."

Calum smiled softly at Sienna's words without even realizing. He was seeing a side of Sienna he never knew existed and certainly never expected. She was a musician, like him, and that twinged something in his heart each time he thought about it.

Every time I think she can't get any better, Calum thought. She fucking turns my world upside down.

It made sense to him now why Luke had been so giddy when Sienna was playing earlier. It was something they had shared as kids, something sentimental to their relationship, that they had gotten back. After all the heartache over the years, they still had their music and memories.

"When Luke and I lost touch," Sienna continued. "Playing became a painful reminder that he was gone." She explained with a sigh. "When I turned to my music, all I found were pieces of him. It didn't matter how much I loved it, it reminded me too much of what I had lost." She continued. "So, I walked away from it and never looked back."

Like a reflex, at the sound of her sighs and the first glimpse of a sad expression, Calum placed a hand on her cheek and rubbed soft strokes across her skin that earned a soft smile from Sienna.

"I never thought I would get the music back." She admitted, letting her eyes shut as she embraced the warmth of his touch. "I thought it would always feel like reopening an old wound, but now..." Her eyes fluttered open to meet his. "I feel like I'm finally getting my favorite part of myself back." She smiled softly. "It's..." She attempted to explain the relief she felt from letting go of the weight of past grief. "Refreshing."

"You seemed happy." Calum told her after a moment. "Practicing with Luke today."

"I was." She nodded. "It felt just like it used to."

A calm quiet set in over them as Calum soaked in her story. His mind lingered on how much it must have hurt Sienna to lose Luke; that she turned away from something she loved so much because the reminder of him was too much for her to bear. The longer he thought about it, the more he wished he had known Sienna back then so he could've done something to help or at least tried to.

"You wanna' know something?" Sienna asked, pulling Calum from his busy mind.

"What?" He asked curiously.

"There was a time, a brief couple of years," She emphasized brief. "When I wanted to be a singer."

A hushed laugh rolled from Calum's lips as he threw his hands up.

"You sing too?" He asked in amused shock. "Christ, Enna, is there anything you can't do?"

"Don't get your hopes up. I never said I was good." She told him with a laugh. "I just said I wanted to sing."

"Will you sing for me sometime?" Calum requested hopefully. The more he tried to imagine what Sienna's singing would sound like, the more eager he became to hear it.

"We'll see." She told him playfully. "What about you?" She said, snuggling closer to him. "Any secret talents you'd like to share?"

"I once held my breath for two minutes." Calum stated proudly which was quickly met with Sienna's contagious laughter. "What? I'm an open book. You're the one with all the hidden talents."

"I told you, I have to keep you on your toes so you don't get bored." She explained with a yawn. "I can't let you get tired of me." She hugged him tighter.

Calum pulled her closer to him so her face rested by his neck instead of his chest. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and he wrapped his arms around her. She let out a peaceful sigh as she cuddled comfortably into him.

"Never." He promised, pulling her closer.