Strong Woman

1**

It was the same dull morning when I received a letter in my post box. I was shocked would be an understatement , no one knows where I have been all these years. There were no letters,no phone calls,no visits, nothing.

The letter read ---

Dear Margaret Louis,
This is the letter you'll be recieving if I have fortunately found peace before apologizing to you. I am too much of a coward to accept my mistakes and ask for forgiveness. If you are reading this, remember Greta I loved you. I still love you and will shower my blessings from the stars. Your mother needs you. Peter needs you,go back home. I have failed my family in keeping them safe.
Peter is still a lost boy, guide him.

Be strong my firstborn you are so much like me. It saddens me I was never there to see you grow up or turn into a big grown up adult but I'll watch you from above daughter dearest,make papa proud.

Love , Father.

The ground below me was crumbling. I felt lost,blank and dizzy all at once. My father,he finally died from his prolonged disease. I don't feel much except nausea and a small pain in my chest. It's been 5 long years without them. Their existence has always been negligible but we did have some happy moments.

I sit back on the chair and look at my room wall,it has pictures of my family. Yes, I am not a heartless bitch. I treasured every little memory all those years silently, without anyone noticing. I knew from the start my stay was not long with them.
My parents were nice people,cool parents sometimes but those moments were few. They spent all their life earning and working hard,no time for us. My brother was the only one I truly loved in the house. Peter was the most innocent soul,maybe that's why they favoured him more. Protected him from the world,from me.

I clearly remember my mother's words from that night.
"You are nothing but a disgrace to our family. You are a bad influence on Peter!"

Old memories hurt. Shaking my head to push those memories back in darkest corner of my mind,I stood up.
I need to make calls. I need to go back to check on them. It's my brother I am most worried about.

Gulping down a full bottle of water I waited. Strange I still didn't cry . I looked around feeling the world around blaming me for being insensitive. News of one's father passing can force any daughter to cry and mourn for countless days and nights. And here I was feeling absolutely nothing , just a small pain in my chest.

Pulling out my cellphone I dialed Ritz. An over cheery voice responded "Morning Mag! what made you call this early morning. You don't have any appointments today. " Her tone was curious and little accusing.

Ritz was my best friendshe was a doctor by profession. Because of my current medical conditions I was forced to visit her often past few months.

I didn't know what to tell her now,how to break the news to her "I called you because........" I started taking short breaths. Panic... panic attacks. I was again getting one.

"Margret take deep breaths, I am right here on the phone call. Relax what happened tell me." I could hear Ritz literally shouting from other side of the call.

"My father passed away,I don't when. I'll be leaving first thing in the morning tomorrow." There I said it, she was well acclimatized to my family drama. Did I forget to tell we are childhood friends. We have know each other since fourth grade.

Silence, a full minute silence was what I received from her. Finally she made some strangling noise. I think she was settling on some nearby chair to sit.

"Oh my God Mag! are you okay? I am coming there asap. Don't panic, you will get through it. Did you call Mrs Louis ? " by the noise coming from her side of rushing and dangling of keys. I was sure she was already in her car to come here. I wonder am I okay... I don't feel any pain. My father is at peace.

A loud voice brought me back into reality. "Margret Louis, bloody reply me back!! " I closed my eyes and whispered "I don't feel any pain Ritz, I don't feel anything. Come soon, door is open. I am going to take a shower " and I hunged up on her.

I heard door opening and closing, she was here. I came out of shower, dressed up in a big T and shorts and walked out. She was standing in the kitchen cooking something. Looking at me she sadly smiled "I thought you would like some breakfast. Ring Mrs Louis first before going. "

I looked at her, silently sending a prayer of thanks to Lord in my mind. She has been my saviour for so long, my best friend,my biggest support.

Nodding I sat on the kitchen counter. Hesitatingly looking at her back " I am going to stay there for long I guess, until things are right. Do you think she will let me be there? "

She turned to face me... "She needs you right now Mag don't worry. And it's okay if you are not feeling any sorrow right now. Keep those pills everytime with you."

Whistling a old tune I unlocked my phone and saw my wallpaper. I saw it carefully after so long. Collage of my parents and brother. I was a stupid kid back then who use to wonder why can't be normal and perfect family.
I use to make cards on every important occasion from birthdays to anniversaries each year...and they use to scold me and throw them in trash. But it never lessened my enthusiasm.

Once I again I was pushed back in memories of old times when I was a happy kid. A dreamy happy kid.
After two rings finally someone answered the call "Hello...." the voice was deep and thick and I wondered if my mother had some voice change over the years. No possibly not! it was a manly voice I am sure. Mustering up courage I inquired " Isn't this Mrs Louis number ? I need to talk to her."

The line went silent. A second later after heavy breathing the same deep voice replied "I am Peter her son,she is currently undergoing an emergency operation. What do you want to talk about, if it's business my uncle can handle it. "

This sudden news punched the air out of my lungs and I fell on floor. First father then mother, my little brother was suffering alone. His voice has changed so much,in pain. He was trying to act as a big boy, while being just fifteen. I badly wanted to disconnect the call , I can't talk to him. what will I say...but then someone kept a hand on my shoulder. Ritz motioned me to talk and held my hand tightly. Giving her a slow nod I said " I am coming home brother."

The line went dead again this time for few minutes, there was a rustling sound and a sob could be heard "Greta,Please come home I am scared." It was his quivering voice that shook me apart and immediately I responded on my own " Hold on Peter,you are a strong boy. I'll be there soon. Wait for me " and I ended the call. I couldn't take more.

I can imagine my little brother crying in the nearest washroom in the hospital. He was just like me, adamant and prideful. He will never cry infront of others, not even an emotion. We were taught by our parents to never show emotion. Sadly it was me who broke this code first by visiting a psychotherapist and crying my eyes out telling her about my anxiety issues. Sometimes I think Ritz choose this profession because of me...funny I know. But she was there every day when I had those attacks and couldn't get help. She swore to me once she will eventually find out a way for me to deal with my depression and here are we.

"How did it go? " I looked back at the blonde beauty and threw my phone on the table. In a low voice I said "Mother is in the hospital going an operation, Peter is worried." She stood there holding me as I finally cried. Tears cascading down my eyes and it was all because of my brother, how broke he sound.

"You are stronger than this Margaret.You will get through it. Let's pack your things. " Pulling me up with her,we started packing.