broken as i • a kylo ren story

viii (viii)

"i keep forgetting you guys are real people." you mumbled to them as you picked up a piece of fruit. "so, how old are you guys?"

"im 25 and peter is 22." wyatt said to you as he ate some of the food he chose.

"thats cool. im 23...do you like your job? if i were you, i wouldn't like it. it would be boring to have to follow around a random girl."

"it is okay. it isnt like we can do much about what task they give us" peter shrugged.

"yeah, i guess that makes sense."

after that, you 3 ate in silence. it wasnt really that awkward though, more just...peaceful?

you all sat up at the same time to dump your trash. wyatt and peter put their helmets back on and you all were on your way back to your quarters.

"do you guys know where i can find the commander by any chance?"

"you really aren't scared on him huh? well, he is probably roaming the ship right now. i heard that after your little encounter with him y/n, he took off on his tie whisper and blew up the resistance's main hangar." wyatt said to you, almost like he was gossiping.

"oh dang. well, if you see him...just knock on my door. i need to have a talk."

"okay...fine." he replied.

"see ya later!" you called out to them as you walked into your room. you really wanted to have a chat with kylo. it was irking you how you havent gotten the chance. it was also irking you how jaxx hasnt reached out to you either.

then you had an idea.

"hey guys, come in here for a second" you popped your head out of your door, talking to wyatt and peter. they walked in and you started talking.

"can you guys do me a big favor? can you go to jaxx y/l/n's room and ju- just check if he is okay?" you pleaded to them. you really hoped they would agree, you just needed to make sure that he was alright.

"you should be glad that we dont hate you." peter said to you. you took that as a yes, and you brought them into a group hug. you opened the door and you saw a little piece of a cape fly by. you looked over and you saw kylo walking down the hall. this was perfect timing for you.

"bye, thank you guys so much!" you pushed wyatt and peter out of your room and they started walking to what you assumed was jaxx's room. "hey big scary tough guy! yoo-hoo!" you called out to kylo. you got no response, so you tried again.

"kylo ren. commander. commander kylo ren. hello?" this time, he turned around. he looked like he hadnt slept in days. he starting walking towards you until he was practically hovering over you.

"yes?" he said through gritted teeth.

"you. come in here right now." you yelled at him. you were not in the mood right now.

kylo didnt feel like putting up a fight, so he listened and walked into your room. you gestured for him to sit on your bed, so he did.

"you little punk bitch!" you went to go slap him but his reflexes said otherwise- preventing your hand from touching his face.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" he said to you, he clearly wasnt in the mood either.

"you are so fucking stupid! why did you tell my brother the truth about our family? do you have common sense you dumbass?!" you screamed at him. you saw his expression change. it went from annoyance to wa- was that guilt or something?

kylo realized that jaxx probably confronted you. he swallowed the tiny lump in his throat before he spoke, "you never told me i couldnt tell him."

he got you there. nowhere did you flat out tell him 'hey, dont tell my brother this'. but, you still had the right to be angry at him. "okay technically i didnt. but i also didnt tell you to go out of your way and spill it all out to him! what even is your explanation for it?"