Break a Butterfly

In Nocte Consilium

(Please comment with your thoughts! I suddenly felt a spark of motivation, and wanted to ride it as long as I could.)  

Their lips parted softly, and Viktor thumbed Yuuri's cheek under his eye, pushing up the rim of his glasses slightly. When the dream-like spell he was under cleared away, reality slammed into him like he'd hit his face against a brick wall. He dropped his hand instantly. Cold, heavy dread spread like poison through his veins.

Viktor took several, staggering steps back, wings snapping open instinctively under his cape. His body screamed at him to flee, but he couldn't fly in this cold and the snow was too deep to run. He leaned against a tree for support, panting slightly. His eyes were wide, like cornered prey.

Yuuri appeared shocked, but remained still. Slowly, he raised a trembling hand and touched his red lips.

Tears stung Viktor's eyes. 'What have I done, what have I done.'

Yuuri swallowed, and Viktor froze.

"Viktor..." he tried weakly.

Viktor's urge to escape swelled, alongside his panic. Yuuri stepped forward, arm outstretched. Viktor moved farther away, skirts dragging in the snow. His heel hit a hidden tree branch, and he fell to his knees. The snow was freezing and damp, soaking through his layers and biting his skin. Viktor bowed his head and stared at his hands, which were splayed in the snow. The white, lacy gloves blended in with their surroundings. He wished the rest of him did.

'A slave kissing his master, without permission...' All rational thought had vanished from his mind, as he reverted back to the way of thinking that had been painfully driven into him, over and over. How dare he? He'd be dragged through the streets, his wings would be bound, and he would hang from the gallows. He felt a flash of pain in the stump of his finger, recalled the knife and the blood that wouldn't stop and his finger in somebody else's hand-

"Viktor!" Yuuri said, more firmly this time. Viktor cautiously looked up, and his eyes met Yuuri's. Without him realizing it, Yuuri had closed the gap between them. He held out his hand, eyes soft and caring.

"It is alright. Let's talk."

Gradually, Viktor's system calmed as he remembered how kind and compassionate the man standing before him was. Tentatively, he placed his hand in Yuuri's and allowed himself to be helped to his feet. Yuuri held his shaking hand tightly, as if to say "I'm here." They crossed the clearing and sat down on the bench beneath the fir tree. Viktor couldn't make eye contact again. They waited there in silence, tension thick between them. There was so much to say, but how?

Then, Yuuri rested his head on Viktor's shoulder and sighed. Both of them, at the same time:

"I-." They both fell back into their quietness. Viktor's head was bowed in shame, humility.

Yuuri finally spoke up again.

"I suppose that this has been a long time coming." He laughed nervously, and removed his head off of Viktor's shoulder as if he needed to keep himself busy somehow. Viktor noticed him playing with the cuff of his jacket. "Listen, I-," he paused, as if questioning whether or not to continue. "I have been afraid to speak my.... feelings because I thought that it may be taking advantage of you..." he trailed off. "I have always seen you as my equal, you must understand!" he quickly clarified. "But, I do not want you to do anything out of obligation."

Viktor was confused, but some welcome amusement slipped in.

"Obligated to what?" he asked, voice hoarse.

"To, you know..." Viktor dared to look at Yuuri, and his face was flushed. "Reciprocate."

Viktor's lips formed an "o," and he covered his mouth delicately. Months and months of pining, misunderstandings, and repressed emotions were suddenly illuminated in a different light. All of this time... How had he been so blind? Memories flooded through his mind, their interactions and words given new meaning.