Book 1: She's A Little Runaway (Izzy Stradlin)

Sixteen

● Reyna ●

1987

I melt into Izzy’s arms as soon as they find their way around my waist from behind. I lean back onto his chest, relishing in the moment. He kisses the top of my head, slightly swaying from side to side.

“What’s the matter, babe?” He asks quietly.

I walked out onto the porch earlier without saying a word to Izzy. He didn’t see me, but I walked in on him doing some “maintenance”. No, I don’t mean that I walked in on him jerking off. I walked in on him shooting up smack. It took everything in me not to go ask him for some.

I’m not stupid. I know that my boyfriend sells drugs. I know that he only does enough heroin to keep from getting withdrawals. I know a drug addict when I see one. I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to be around him when drugs follow. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t fall back down that rabbit hole, but here I am.

I can tell that Izzy is trying to hide it, which I appreciate, but it’s a small apartment. It’s not a surprise that I’m going to walk in on him frequently. But, what if I let my old habits resurface? What if I let myself give in to those old urges? What if I listen to that small voice in my head that tells me, ‘Just a little won’t hurt.’? I don’t think I’ll make it out alive this time.

“Nothing,” I whisper. I know that if I spoke any louder I’d either break into tears as I remember my past or I’d spill all of my thoughts onto him.

I know that if I say anything about walking in on him, he’d try even harder to hide it and end up leaving the  house to do ‘maintenance’. If he overdoses somewhere in his car because he thought that he couldn’t do it at my apartment, I’d never forgive myself. It would be my fault and I’d have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.

Izzy tightens his grip around my waist. He digs his face into my neck. I giggle as he tickles my neck with his nose. He rests his chin on my shoulder, looking at the people walking by on the street with me.

“I know that’s a lie.”

I sigh. “I don’t want to say anything right now, okay?”

“Will you tell me eventually, then?” He asks.

I turn around in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. I rest my forehead against his, taking in his scent of whiskey and cigarettes. “I will.” 

Izzy pulls me in closer, a smile on his lips. We just stand there on the porch for a long time, enjoying each other’s company. I haven’t felt this safe in a long time. I know that as long I have Izzy by my side, nothing will happen to me. 

“Hey, love birds!” Someone yells from the sidewalk.

We both look down, not surprised to find Duff and Steven standing down there.

“What the fuck do you want?” Izzy yells back, trying to sound angry. However, I see a cute smile forming on his lips. 

“Get your asses down here! We’re going to the Whiskey!” Duff yells, a goofy grin on his face. 

Izzy sighs, focusing his attention back on me. It would be a lie if I said that I don’t get butterflies everytime he looks at me with those murky hazel eyes. Sometimes I forget that he’s an addict. He’s not aggressive like Nikki was. He’s sweet and when he’s high, he just gets really disoriented. And very touchy. That being said, maybe he does get aggressive and I haven’t seen that side of him yet. I’m just hoping that I never encounter that side of him.

“What do you want to do?” Izzy asks in a low voice.

I shrug. “Why not go? We haven’t hung out with the guys since yesterday.”

Izzy rolls his eyes, making me giggle. “You are way too attached to them. When are we going to have a full day by ourselves?”

“We will, I promise. But, for tonight, let’s go have fun. If you look like you’re not having fun after an hour, we’ll leave.”

Izzy furrows his eyebrows, not fully believing me. “Promise?”

“I promise, you weirdo.”

Izzy sighs, then nods his head. I squeal in delight, grabbing his hand and pulling him down the stairs to my brother and his best friend. 

When we reach the guys, they immediately take off to the Whiskey with Izzy and I in tow. I lean in to Izzy as he moves his arm to wrap around my shoulders. I wrap my arms around his waist and he kisses the top of my head. 

We walk into the Whiskey. Immediately I feel myself start to sweat with how much humidity and body heat is in the room. That’s why I’m always thankful I’m behind the bar. I’m not in the middle of the sea of bodies. I can actually breathe back there. I’m not surprised to find that Steven and Duff lead us to a table where Axl and Slash are sitting. They all sit down, and I sit next to Izzy. He removes the arm from around my shoulder. He places his hand on my thigh protectively, sitting as close as he possibly can to me.

The guys immediately launch into a conversation about when their next gig is and when they should practice at the Gardner space. Apparently multiple record labels have been approaching them about record deals, but they’re not decided yet. They said that Geffen was reaching out to them and that Tom Zutaut was going to help them out.

My heart nearly stopped at that name. Fucking Tom Zutaut. The guy that discovered Mötley and got them signed to Elektra. I guess he moved to Geffen. God damnit, I can never rid myself of those guys!

I start to feel uncomfortable staying at the table. I turn to Izzy. “Do you want anything to drink?”

Izzy opens his mouth to answer, but Axl cuts him off.

“Just get a bottle of JD for the table.”

I nod, leaving Izzy’s side to go to the bar. I smile at Joel who looks stressed out.

“Hey, Joel.” He nods at me, hurriedly trying to make a margarita. “Can you just give me a bottle of JD, please?” He nods again, handing me a bottle wordlessly. I laugh and shake my head at him. He still doesn’t know how to keep calm under pressure. 

“You sound like a girl that can drink. I like those kinds of girls,” A familiar voice says from behind me.

I feel my heart drop to my feet. My breath immediately hitches and a pang goes through my chest.

I turn around, my heart stopping at the sight of those familiar green eyes and poof of black hair. Those green eyes widen in recognition.

“Reyna?”