Book 1: She's A Little Runaway (Izzy Stradlin)

Twenty-Seven

● Reyna ●

"Can I talk to you?"

I couldn't speak. Is Izzy actually talking to me? I would be excited but the look on his face scares me. Oh God, is he going to break up with me and go back to Alexandria?

I just nod, getting up off of the floor. I set the book down and follow him. It feels like my heart is about to beat right out of my chest. We go out the back into the alley. He pulls a cigarette out and lights it. He takes a rather long drag.

The silence between us is suffocating. Is it going to be like this forever? Over something so fucking stupid?

Izzy leans back against the brick wall, taking another drag. He holds the cigarette out to me. He doesn't even spare me a glance. I accept it, taking a drag myself. To be completely honest, I've forgotten the entire reason this fight started. Is it because it was due time for one?

I sigh and hand the cigarette back. He takes it. For a moment he stares at the cancer stick. Almost like he's contemplating something. Maybe he really is going to break up with me.

My heart drops at the thought, but what can I do about it? Nothing. If he's made his decision then that's it. No changing his stubborn mind.

"Why do I smoke these things?" Izzy says out of nowhere.

I nearly burst out laughing. Nearly a month of not speaking and that's what he has to say to me? That is truly an Izzy thing to do.

"The nicotine keeps you addicted," I say softly, not sure if he really wants an answer.

Izzy smiles a little. "I know that's the physical reason why, but why does my mind let me do it? I really should stop."

"But you're not going to."

"What makes you say that?" He finally looks at me and my heart soars.

"Old habits die hard. You of all people should know that."

He smirks, throwing the cigarette down and squishing it out with the toe of his cowboy boots. "You look good."

I smile a little. I just hope what I'm about to say doesn't piss him off. "You don't."

He just laughs. "I know. I'll be honest with you, it's gotten so much worse since this stupid fight started. I miss you like hell, Rey."

"I miss you too, Iz." I wish I could stay in this happy moment, where neither of us are bickering or getting our feelings hurt. But there are questions that I need answered. "Why didn't you tell me that you were talking to her again?"

Izzy's smile drops. Immediately I regret saying anything. I should have just apologized and let things go back to normal. If I had done that, though, I just know that the curiosity would eat me alive until one random day I would explode.

"I really don't know," He answers. "I just saw her one day while I was out and we started talking. I realized that I missed being friends with her. I decided to keep in touch. I thought you would be super pissed if you found out so I kept it a secret."

I shake my head. "Izzy, you know me so much better than that. If you would have explained all of this wouldn't have happened. Instead I found out because I overheard her talking about it and I jumped to conclusions." I stop myself, thinking over everything. "But this also could have been avoided if I would have just asked."

Izzy grins a little. "So we're both at fault."

I nod, grinning along with him. "It seems that way."

"We're all good now, right? We'll tell each other everything from now on so we won't have these silly arguments."

"Agreed."

Izzy gently put my face in his hands, leaning down to kiss me. Our lips connect. It feels just like the first time, maybe even more special. I missed him so much. It felt like we had been apart for more than a month. It had been an eternity. Is that how you know you really love someone?

I pull away, letting both of us catch our breath. A smile paints my lips. This is the moment I would love to stay in for eternity. Me and Izzy reconciling after a whole month of silence. I missed him so much. His lips. His smell. His smile. HIs eyes. His laugh. I don't think I could live without any of those again.

"I wanna quit."

I pull out of his embrace quickly. My heart drops once again. Does he mean us? "W-What?"

Izzy's eyes widen in realization, then he starts to laugh. "I don't mean our relationship," He says through the laughter. "I meant heroin. I'm so tired of depending on it. I want to be free for the first time in a long time."

"Are you sure?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing. "I know firsthand how hard it is."

Izzy nods. "I know. I'm willing to go through it. I don't want to be this person anymore. I want to be clean."

"What's with the change of heart?" The guy is a dealer, for God's sake! Guys like that don't normally get out of the drug business. Mostly out of fear.

Izzy pulls me in close. I melt against him, letting his warmth spread over me. This feels right. "I looked back at my life a few days ago. The kind of person I am sober and not. I just really don't give a shit when I'm high. I think that's why I let our fight go on for so long. I also hate going around my family when I'm like that. I do love them, even though I forget to call and visit. I just can't lose you and my family because I have my head stuck up my ass."

I nod against him. I take a peek into recording space behind us. The guys are all snorting coke and drinking and whatever else they normally do. "How are you going to stay in the band?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know as well as I do that there are a bunch of alcohol and drug addicts in there. How are you gonna be able to go on tour with them?"

Izzy is quiet for a moment, thinking over my words. "I'll go on the Mötley tour, then when we get back I'll go to my hometown and sober up there. We'll cross the sober bridge when we get there."

I nod again, hugging him closer to me.

"I love you very much," I mutter into his chest.

"You have no idea how much I love you too, Rey."