Y/N POV:
Jesse and I have been married for three years now. Everything was great between us, he made me feel complete. It gets hard from time to time not being able to see him when he's away filming Chicago Fire, but this is what part of what I signed up for, and being with him is worth it. He's worth it.
Now it might all change. I don't know how I can live without him, but he might not want to live with me after I tell him what I just found out. I am in the kitchen, baking because that's what I do, I stress bake. I already baked some brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and I did some oreo balls. Currently, I am baking some red velvet cookies.
Jesse's supposed to come back home today, then we'll have dinner, and then I'll tell him that I can't have kids. I always wanted to have a family ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of having a big family because I never had one. I was an only child, who didn't even have any cousins. Jesse also wanted to have a big family as well.
How is he going to react when I tell him that I can't give him what he always wanted? He's going to leave me for sure. I have to come to terms with that. Why would he keep me around anyway? I can't cook, I can only bake. I could barely keep the house clean if it wasn't for our housekeeper the house would probably be unrecognizable. I mean, working in the fashion industry is really time-consuming. Jesse being the amazing man that he is, got us a chef and a housekeeper. Now that I can't even have kids, it's like I feel useless. I always thought that once I get pregnant, I'd be running my own fashion company, so then I'd be able to have more free time and I could work from home every-now-and-then.
I placed the cookies into the oven and started to pace back and forth. To say that I am nervous is an understatement. I am terrified of losing him, I am angry with myself, and I am sad that this is how my marriage is going to end. He's been nothing, but wonderful to me and he treats me with such amazing respect.
"Mrs. Spencer?" I turned around to find George, our chef.
"Yes, George?" I answered.
"I need to start getting dinner ready, Mr. Casey is going to be here soon." He explained. I looked at the clock that was on the kitchen wall. He was right, Jesse's flight should land in ten minutes and the car ride is only thirty minutes to our house. I felt my heart beat faster.
"Yes, sorry. Go ahead. Just take out the cookies after ten minutes please." He nodded and went to work.
I walked over to the living room and sat on the couch. This is it. This is how my marriage is going to end. He's going to walk through the door, tell me how much he missed me and loves, we're going to have dinner, and then I'm going to break his heart. After that, he's going to stand up and leave the house. Before he leaves he's going to tell me that he wants a divorce and I can't even argue with that. Soon enough the tears started to fall.
Jesse POV:
I was on my way home from the airport. I couldn't wait until I got home and held Y/N in my arms. I missed her so much. She was barely able to visit me in Chicago this time because her work was very demanding. I grabbed my phone and sent her a text.
'On my way to see you beautiful'
Wifey❤️: Can't wait😘
I placed the phone back into my pocket.
Soon enough I was making my way up the stairs of the front porch. The door opened to reveal my wife with a smile on her face. I took her into my arms and held her. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she hugged me back.
"I missed you so much, love," I told her.
"I missed you too baby." I placed my lips on hers and gave her a small kiss.
"I love you."
"And I love you." I looked into her eyes. Something was off.
"What's wrong, babe?" I asked.
"Nothing, I just missed you." She answered as we made our way inside. I knew that wasn't true, but I decided not to press further.
"Smells great. I'm going to wash my hands and then we'll eat." I told her. She nodded and made her way to the dining room.
We were soon sitting in front of each other eating. I was telling her some stories of what happened on set and she just sat there in silence. Smiling every once in a while. I looked towards the kitchen and saw the Tupperwares of baked goods. She was stressed, she stress-baked.
"What's going on and don't tell me it's nothing. You stress-baked and your eyes are red from crying. You're not even talking to me properly. What happened?" I questioned her.
"Let's finish dinner first." She replied.
"No, I want to know now," I demanded.
"Well I had a doctor's appointment today with my gynecologist and she told me something." She began. I put my fork down.
"What did she tell you?"
"She...she..." She began to cry. I got up to her and wrapped my arms around her. Her face buried in my chest.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here love." A little while later, she stopped crying and looked up at me. She got up from her chair and went over to the living room. I followed her automatically.
"Jesse, what if I can't have kids?" She questioned as she sat on the couch. I sat by her side.
"What do you mean?"
"The doctor told me I am not going to be able to have kids." I looked at her for a minute.
"Okay..."
"Jesse, I can't give you what you always wanted. I am useless, it's okay that you're going to leave me. I get it. I can't cook, I can barely run a household, I can't do anything. You don't want anything-" I pressed my lips to hers, cutting her off.
"Why would I ever want to leave you?" She looked at me in shock, but with sadness.
"Because I can't have kids."
"If you can't have kids, doesn't mean that I'll stop loving you. Doesn't mean that you're useless and it most certainly doesn't mean that I'll ever leave you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you, kids or no kids."
"But you always wanted kids."
"We both did, but it doesn't mean I'll leave you when times are tough. We vowed to be there for one another always and nothing's going to change that."
"God I love you, Jesse Spencer." She sighed in relief.
"I love you too." I pulled her into my arms.
"I'm so happy you're not leaving me." She snuggled her head against my chest.
"Never and hey we could get more than one doctor to see you. If that doesn't work, we could always look at adoption. If we don't then I'll be more than okay without having kids, as long as it's you and I." I told her.
"Okay." She agreed. I placed a kiss on the top of her head and rested my chin on top.
