*Still your pov*
They both have me shocked faces as I stared blankly at them.
"What?" I asked.
"You said it so easily!" Shuichi said.
"I go there everyday to decide if I'll do it so it's normal for me."
"So you did lie." Kokichi sighed.
"Well what do you expect me to say when you asked 'Yes Kokichi I didn't jump because you were there and I actually come here daily contemplating whether I'll end it or roll again. Also as we're speaking my wrists are bleeding and when I go home I'm going to cut deeper.' Is that what you wanted me to say?" I asked innocently.
"y-y/n. How long have you done this?" Saihara asked.
"Since I came here is when I went on the roof but the hurting I've done for years." I said.
"I promise your never going to be alone and hurt again!" Kokichi announced hugging me. I still wasn't used to physical affection or just being touched if it's not in a harsh matter.
"W-what are you d-doing?" I asked.
"I'm hugging you. Haven't you been hugged before?" Kokichi asked pulling away.
"My mom used to but she died a month before I came here." I said.
"We'll get used to them your my soulmate meaning I will care for you, adore you, drown you in affection, comfort you and love you." He said kissing me on the cheek.
"Kokichi make sure she's okay with it." Shuichi reminded him.
"I-I don't mind." I said.
"See Saihara!"
"Still she seems upset about this."
"I-I'm fine really!"
"Okay should I leave or?"
"I got her I'll bring her to my room." Kokichi said.
"Why?" I asked.
"I just want to make sure your safe, I'll sleep on the floor if you'd wish."
"No I'll sleep on the floor."
"No way I'm sleeping on the floor!"
"Maybe if your okay with it we can share a bed." I suggested.
"Yay!" Kokichi cheered picking me up and taking me to his room.
Once there he dropped me onto his bed.
"y/n?" He asked.
"Yeah?"
"Were you disappointed?"
"What?"
"Were you disappointed that I'm your soulmate?"
"No, not at all. If anything I was glad, not only did I find my soulmate but they showed me a reason to live. I just thought you were disappointed." I admitted.
"Why would I be disappointed?! Your cute, smart, and just overall amazing!" He said jumping into the bed with me.
"More like ugly, stupid and terrible." I muttered thinking he wouldn't hear.
"No more talking down on yourself!" He said hugging me.
"Ow!" I yelped.
"I'm sorry, I don't feel the pain as bad as you do."
"It's fine." I said giving him the best smile I could muster.
"y/n?" He asked.
"Yeah?"
"Why, why do you hurt yourself?"
*Kokichi's pov*
She giggled slightly as her eyes started to tear up.
"Well despite my mom giving me hugs she'd also yell at me alot for not being what she wanted. If I went to a friends while she was at work and didn't tell her she'd come home and yell. If I went to a sleepiver without my phone and didn't return until later she'd yell and she even told me she hated me. If I didn't do chores constantly she'd yell. I just hated myself for not being perfect and now she's gone and I still hate myself." She sighed.
"What did you do before she died when she'd yell?" I asked.
"I would go into my room and choke myself. I just wanted to stop breathing, I would sit there and wish I would die and think about how everyone would react." She smiled slightly while raising her hands to her throat.
"Sure it hurt causing me head aches, my face to go red from loss of oxygen but in the end I knew that my mother wouldn't be around to hurt me anymore."
"She beat you?"
"No, she just hurt me mentally with the yelling and some names she'd call me when mad." She said as tears slipped down her cheeks.
"y/n, you know you can always reach out right?" I asked.
"No, my friends would always tell me that others problems are bigger and worse. They would also not help they didn't even listen half the time." She cried.
I couldn't stand seeing her cry so I hugged her close with her head in my chest.
"Do you know why she yelled at you?" I asked.
"I don't know." She cried.
"Not even a guess?" I asked.
"No."
I couldn't help but sigh making her flinch and push me away.
"y/n-"
"I'M SORRY!" She screamed before running to her dorm.
I chased after her calling for her through her door.
No matter how hard I hit her door or pleaded her to open it there was no response.
*Your pov*
I couldn't handle it.
"I am not your protagonists, I'm not even my own. I don't know anything........I don't even know why I don't know." I sang while choking myself.
"Y/N PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR! PLEASE Y/N!" Kokichi cried out.
*Kiibo's pov*
I was walking by the dorms, making my way to my own when I heard shouting.
"Kokichi what are you doing at y/n's dorm?" I asked.
"Kiibo please blast open her door!" Kokichi cried out in desperation.
"No."
"Kiibo you don't understand, y/n's in there and is having a hard time and I need to get in there before she does something reckless!" He cried.
I nodded and blasted her door open to see her face all purple and her eyes barely awake.
"Kokichi what's going on?" I asked.
"I can't explain okay." He said picking her up and running off.
I was too confused to do anything so I just stood there.
*Kokichi's pov*
I took her back to the infermery with the nurse.
"S-she's o-okay!" She said.
"Thanks Mikan." I sighed as she left.
"y/n, I know your struggling but please let me help you. You don't need to go through this alone." I said to her sleeping form.
I couldn't help but cry, knowing something I did caused this pain.
In my cries I almost failed to feel my hand that was holding y/n's being squeezed I look down and see her holding my hand and griping the bed sheets.
"Are you doing okay?" I asked.
"Times like these are when I want people to ignore things. I don't like when people yell at me and ten seconds later they ignore me and never apologize. But I want you to ignore me and forget all of this." She said not making eye contact.
"What was your relationship like your family like?" I asked.
