Choices - LXC x JC fanfic

Reminisce

Jiang Cheng left, but he didn't go back to the dining hall. He flew back to the Lotus Pier. The cold wind hitting against his skin keeps his mind awake. The harsh wind blows away his tears.

"You are...?" a handsome tall youth with a kind-looking face and gentle smile in contrast to the youth standing beside him with a cold expression on his face asked him and Wei Wuxian after they met each other.

"Jiang Wanyin of Yunmengjiang Sect." he answered and saluted.

"Wei Wuxian of Yunmengjiang Sect!" Wei Wuxian cheerfully answered.

In the darkness of the night, he flew alone with only his broken memories to accompany him as he went home.

"Thank you for saving me." he told Lan Wangji after Lan Wangji found him and brought him to the remains of the Cloud Recesses. "Have you found Wei Wuxian?" he asked, his voice filled with anxiety.

"No..." Lan Wangji answered and lowered his head. He also felt disappointed of himself.

He harshly wiped the tears off his eyes when it blurred his sight.

"Thank you, and also Lan Wangji, for helping me gather people to rebuild my sect." he told Lan Xichen and smiled.

Lan Xichen smiled back. "It's our duty to help each other." He told him.

"ARGH!" he cried when he lost his balance on his sword and he fell.

"Sect leader Jiang." Lan Xichen called as he approached him.

He immediately blushed. "D-don't call me that..." he said as he lowered his head to avoid Lan Xichen's gaze. "I – I... it's you who helped me rebuilt my sect. You don't have to address me like that." He shyly told him.

"Then... can I call you 'Ah Cheng'?" Lan Xichen asked.

He was startled. That's – he thought and he looked at Lan Xichen. Then, he lowered his gaze in sadness. - how my elder sister called me. He thought. "Okay." He answered and smiled. No one will call me that way, anyway. Not even Wei Wuxian. He thought and closed his eyes. "Mm?" he blinked when he felt his cheeks were touched by warm hands and then raised his head. Then, the next second, his vision darkened and he felt something soft touched his lips.

"Thank you." Lan Xichen said after he kissed him. "I've been wanting to call you that." He told him.

"Ow." He cried when he felt his forehead and knees hurt. His shoulder was broken, too, after he fell. He looked at Sandu that fell on the ground beside him and reached it, only for him to cry when his arm hurt. "Damn it..." he cursed as he cried. That was when it started –

"Ah Cheng. Have you eaten?" Lan Xichen asked.

He immediately blushed. "Y-yes..." he answered.

"You didn't." Lan Xichen said and his face turned serious. "You just finished sorting your disciples, right?" he said. Seeing Jiang Cheng lowered his head in shame, he chuckled. "Here. I've prepared your lunch." He told him.

"T-thank you." He said.

"I want something instead of gratitude." Lan Xichen said.

"Hm? Mm." he said when Lan Xichen suddenly kissed him.

"Tch!" he clicked his tongue as he punched back his dislocated shoulder that hit the ground first, bearing his weight and the impact of his fall. "Ggh..." he groaned in pain and he bit his lip to not cry out. His lip was cut and it bled. Feeling the rustic taste in his tongue, he bitterly smiled as he fell on his knees and cried. "Damn it..." he cursed as his shoulder shook. "Damn it all!" he yelled, pouring all his emotions in his voice. "DAMN IT!" he cursed and punched the ground.

"I love you." He confessed after their first time. He lifted the quilt and hid under to cover his red face.

"Ah Cheng..." Lan Xichen called as he pulled him towards him. "I love you, too, Ah Cheng." He told him and kissed him.

"You liar..." he said as he retched. How many nights did he spend with Lan Xichen who had also touched Jin Guangyao? "Blurgh!" he retched and then fell on his back. He felt both his heart and mind empty. He felt exhausted. "Haa.." he panted, his chest heaving up and down as he stared at the dark sky. Suddenly, rain fell and hit him on the face. "When it rains, it pours..." he muttered and smiled as he turned, then curled up. He didn't only feel cold, but also felt broken. "When will this nightmare end?" he asked. However, it's better to live in the harsh nightmare than in the make-believe dream. 

(A/N: it's truly damning to be reminded of not only your pain, but also of your stupidity. *pats Jiang Cheng.)