Broken Girl [Arthur Leclerc]

Broken Girls ✔

"No I'm not in the mood for small talk
I only wanna know your deepest secrets
Oh come on let me be your detox
I'll be your diary, I won't repeat it."
Broken Girls; Gabbie Hanna

-

Jacqueline was sitting on the beach, feeling the soft sand underneath her. She was watching the fiery yellow ball disappearing behind the dark waters. She had to cover her face with her hand because the beams of the sun were way too bright. The beach was deserted, an ideal place to calm down and look back.

At first, Jacqueline was just sitting there, not thinking about anything. But as time went by, remorses started creeping up into her mind. She was pushed in a corner, she had to react somehow, she had to show that she is not comfortable. But was it necessary to lash out like this? Her grandmother always taught her to be polite, but Jacqueline was far from it tonight. Maybe she should apologize. And try to explain. Maybe.

Jacqueline was deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice someone approaching her. But from the corner of her eye, she noticed someone sitting next to her. She turned her head to see Kailani looking at her with a sympathetic smile on her beautiful face. It was the same smile she had during dinner. It was just a facial expression, but somehow it felt different. It was a smile with reassurance in it. It understands you just like you want to be understood.

"You don't like us, do you?" she asked carefully while looking at the calm sea in front of her.

"No, it's not like that," Jacqueline sighed, running her hand through her blond hair, "I'm sorry for my outburst, I didn't mean to. It has nothing to do with you, my mind is just not in the right place."

"But you are not happy about your father moving on so quickly, are you?" Kailani questioned, and Jacqueline looked at her, not sure how to answer, "You can say that, that is fine. I was also surprised when my mother told me about it."

"But at least she told you. My father had been sneaking out every night without telling me the reason for his rendezvouses. I had to force him to come clean."

"Maybe he wasn't ready to tell you yet," Kailani shrugged, "he wanted to wait till he was really sure. And if you are saying that you have a lot of his own problems...maybe he didn't want to bother you even more...and avoid a flaming reaction."

"Well, it didn't really work out," Jacqueline laughed sarcastically, "I don't actually know why I'm acting like this, to be honest," she shrugged while drawing circles to the sand, "I should be happy that he is not alone...but somehow I just can't."

"What is your relationship with your parents?" Kailani asked, and Jacqueline looked at her with raised eyebrows, "I know, it's personal. But maybe you can understand the whole situation better if you talk about your feelings."

"I don't really confide in people that I don't know...not anymore," Jacqueline shook her head with a sigh, "I have a hard time trusting others after everything that I've been through. I've been hurt a lot. Especially by people whom I gave my whole heart."

"I see. Well, I can tell you something about me first," Kailani offered and Jacqueline slightly nodded her head, "I live only with my mother, I've never met my real father. Here...we don't really play on real love. This might be one of the most gorgeous places in the world, but the laws are a bit old-fashioned. In the past, parents used to find partners for their children, marriages for money was completely normal. Nowadays it's slightly better, you are allowed to find someone by yourself. But if your parents won't give you their blessings, you cannot marry them. And some of the parents still want to choose someone for you.
My father was from a very wealthy family, and my mother fell in love with him immediately. She used to tell me that he was handsome and very charming, he knew how to please people. He loved her too, but not as much as she did. They were like fire and water, total opposites. My father wanted to have fun and be forever young without any responsibilities. He clearly wasn't ready for marriage, and he was scared of commitments.
My mother, on the other hand, was working and taking care of their house. She was already thinking about starting a family, but my father didn't want to hear anything about it. I don't know if he ever wanted to be married, he would be much happier as a young bachelor. But here, people value marriage over everything, and being single is almost impossible. They think that when you are single, it's because your significant other half died, you got divorced, or nobody wanted you. Not because you feel better all by yourself. It's stupid, but people have been living like this for centuries, and they don't want to change it.
I definitely wasn't planned, definitely not from both sides. As soon as my mother told my father that she was pregnant, he ran away. She was madly in love with him, and He broke her heart. Thanks to him, she wasn't able to trust any man. My grandmother was trying to find a new husband for my mom, but she didn't want to. She would rather be considered dirty than being fooled again by a man.
Mom raised me on her own, it was just her and me...till now. Obviously, I was surprised to find out that my mom is seeing someone who is not even from this island. I was pretty reserved, not sure if I could trust Pablo, especially when mom told me about his past. But on the other hand, I want my mother to be finally happy, she deserves it."