Chapter 1: The Hard Road Back

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It rained more often than not in Seattle, the sky perpetually overcast and grey, with the sun seemingly making an appearance only a few times a year. Today was one of those few days that the strong, early morning sun decided to show its face and drifted through the window blinds and into the bedroom. As the sun fell across the face of the occupant in the double bed, a moan emanated from the small figure. She lifted her arm to shield her eyes from the intrusion, hoping that she could ignore it and continue sleeping. Suddenly, the blaring sound of the alarm clock obliterated the peace and quiet of the room.

Reaching out to slam her hand down on the piercing wail of the unwanted alarm, Jessie Morrow let herself fall back against her pillows, exhausted and bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. Unfortunately, she was also now fully awake. Well, fuck! She thought. How could I forget to turn that damn thing off?

Cutting loose with a long and tired yawn, Jessie rolled onto her side. Grabbing the pack of smokes and lighter next to the alarm clock, Jessie lit up a cigarette and took a long, deep drag. Lying back on her bed as she lazily blew smoke rings towards the ceiling, she contemplated whether she should get up or try to fall asleep again. She had worked the late shift last night, not getting in until after four o'clock that morning.

Even though it was barely nine o'clock now, Jessie knew that once she was awake, she was awake for the duration and there was no point in staying in bed if she had shit to get done. Finishing her cigarette, she rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to shower. Turning the water on as hot as she could stand it, Jessie allowed it to pour over her achy muscles while she re-evaluated her present state of affairs for the millionth-and-one time. For the most part, it was never a pleasant reflection.

Stepping out of the shower and pulling on a clean pair of thong underwear and a faded and oversized SAMCRO t-shirt, Jessie padded barefoot through her small apartment and into the even smaller kitchen. Deciding to start her Sunday morning off with her usual ritual, Jessie turned on the old laptop that was sitting on top of the small kitchen island and propped herself up on a bar stool. The computer was refurbished as Jessie couldn't afford a new one, but it did what she needed. While she waited for it to boot up, she went about making a small pot of coffee.

Thinking that the coffee would brew before she'd ever get on the Internet, Jessie was pleasantly surprised as she was finally able to log on. It still amazed her that a business in Charming had finally joined the 21st Century and she was grateful for it. Being able to read the Charming Gazette's online edition was one of Jessie's guilty pleasures. Ever since she had cut ties with Charming and her SAMCRO family, it had been a matter of pride to be able to survive on her own, without any help from, or communication with, the people she had left behind. So when she stumbled onto the website over six months ago, Jessie made use of it to keep an eye on her former hometown.

Jessie had tried to keep her little forays into the idyllic world of Charming to herself, but Ronnie had unexpectedly shown up at her apartment one morning and busted her in the act of surfing the net. Jessie tried to play it off as if it was nothing, but Ronnie said that Jessie could lie to her, but she shouldn't lie to herself. And Ronnie was right. Even after all this time, Jessie loved and sorely missed her family, her heart, body, and soul aching for one person in particular.

Jessie knew that she couldn't find a truer friend than Ronnie Armstrong, a childhood friend who had welcomed her with open arms when Jessie had fled San Diego over three years ago to Seattle. Ronnie had proven to be a shelter in the storm and a great comfort for Jessie. No woman should have to go through what Jessie had without the benefit of a deep friendship with another woman. Ronnie was there for her during the worst time of her life, helping her to deal with so many losses when she had left Charming and had helped Jessie through the times when she literally felt like she wanted to die. So when Ronnie would call her out on her bullshit, Jessie tried to accept it as words that were coming from the heart.

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