Merciless

18

I had to get out of that place. So i rushed out and came straight home. The home I built for her. The home she hasn't been in for five years.

She has grown. Five years has passed and she has grown so much. How did I miss it. How could I have let her go like that. At the time i thought it was for the best. But...

Was is truly for the best? Was I running away from how I felt at that time. I dont even know anymore. I was never good with feelings.

I leaned back in my chair. Staring at the old sofa that was in my office. The same sofe she used to sleep on. I couldn't seem to get rid of that sofa. When we moved here first, I was so busy with my new position I was always cooped up in my office and she would always crawl into my office and sleep on that sofa. I didn't want to say anything because i knew why she did that. She couldn't sleep without my presence. As silly as it sounds she couldn't. It made me happy that was how much she needed me.

It made me feel like I existed for a good reason. It made me feel good. I came to this position because of her. At least that's how this all started. And now...

Now she isn't even here with me. She cant remember me. It pissed me off so much. How did I forget her so quickly enough to let all of this happened? Was it the power? What the fuck happened.

What I told her today night wasn't a lie. I know she will never forgive me. I know when she remembers she will feel hurt.

I stared at the sofa. The memory of her sleeping on it came to my mind. When she was fast asleep I would sometimes go towards her and she would grab my hand and sleep. She did this even when she was small. She grabbed my hand and slept on it. I didn't want to wake her up by taking my hand back so I thought I would wait for awhile and take it back, so i sat on th floor and waited... But most of the time i would fall asleep with her gripping my hand and me on the floor leaning on the bed or sofa. When we were on the street we used to sleep together, with my body protecting her from the cold. She was always say these words.

"Promise me you will never abandon me. No matter how hard things get Promise me!"

And i broke my promises. The first chance I got I got rid off her.

I regretted it so much. I missed her during the five year period. I knew I was fucked up. With what I have been through everything was fucked up. She was the only good thing i had. The only one who accepted me. The only one who was there for me and I managed to fuck things up. I managed to screw things up with her quickly.

I will fix things. Even if her memory doesnt return I will fix things with her.

I will be there for her like i started. I'll keep my promise.

The thought of her goimg through hardships alone for the pass five years haunts me. I know i had my people watching over her. I knew she had enough money in her savings account. But it money doesn't solve anything. I more than anyone should know this.

I have accomplished everything. I am rich,powerful. No one can catch me with where I am now. I am more powerful than the president.

But the whole reason for me being in this position, she wasn't here.

I stared at the couch. To calm myself down I pictured her sleeping on that couch. Her slight snoring echoing through the room. Her making small noises while she was sleeping. Her calling out for me.

I didnt know what kind of relationship I had with her. But i was supposed to be her protector. She, on the other hand used to call me her family. Her everything.