You are the only one that understand (Bucky & Natasha)

Part 23

What person can do for his kid? The answer is ... anything.
Change his identity, check. Change appearance, check. Create the perfect resume build on the evidence you did not appear from thin air a month ago? Check, check, check.
We did it all, but not only because we need it. But mostly because Lily wanted us to.
It costs us more money than any honest person can earn in their life. It took weeks of sleepless nights, but it was all worth.
And nearly a month ago, it was the day we signed the last paper works, and Lily officially became our daughter.

I may, or may not cry the night before that happened, but in happy tears. As James told me all the things, we can do. There are no other safer places for us than Wakanda. We can change everything about us, but will never feel safe anywhere else when we don't have to look behind our back. Lucky for us, Lily enjoys it as much as we do.
She gets the best education this world can offer, and she is still at the top of her class. She plays sports and attempts to learn the Wakandan language.

Life seems as good as it can get. But for some reason we all three seem unable to find a piece.
"I know what you are thinking." James comes behind me, hugging me tight to himself. As I stand on the porch looking at Lily practising her moves from self-defence class, she insists ongoing.
"You do?" I look back at him, and he just nods, not taking eyes from Lily too.
"You are bored. Playing family is not your cup of tea, and I get it." I realise a deep breath.
"James -"
"I say I get it, Nat. That's why I called Steve. You need to go back there before you get me insane." I roll my eyes.

"I'm fine, don't know what you are on about." I puff, crossing my hands on a chest.
"Yeah, right. And that meld down you have this morning over cereal completely normal?"
"I like my cereal in a certain way, and they were too milky. A girl can be upset."
"To the point, you start hysterically crying that you hate everything?" He lifts a brow at me.
"It was a hard morning." I simply shrug.
"Sure, because you didn't sleep well. Right?"
"Yes."
"And I wonder why that happens."
"Oh, you tell me. You the expert of not sleeping for days." I snap back at him and instantly regret everything I said. I shouldn't say it.

Good thing James already knows I didn't mean to hurt him.
"You miss it. I get it. That's why I think you should do what you enjoy. Just because Lily is now with us, life doesn't stop. You still need to do what makes you happy."
"She makes me happy." I point at the girl that looks like a mini-me.
"And so as doing what you are good at."
"I don't want to leave her."
"Then do us a favour and for once be careful as you save a world." He kisses my temple and walks back inside.

Damn, I hate when he is right. I was snapping on everyone, James the most. In contrast, acting like a crazy person. As if I was locked up in the basement for years. I know it's a bit much, but I can't help it. I'm not used to this happy ever after and it gets me over the edge.

***

James made dinner tonight. Well, he does most of the time. The only cooking I can do is to put some frozen meals in the microwave. I have no desire to make food, even though I really enjoy the ones that Wanda or James make. And my husband has apparently very little patience with teaching me to cook. After I successfully burn his dinner every time I try and then blame him for lack of supervision.

I am getting crazy. I should be happy, being able to relax with my husband and daughter. But I can't. I guess I just wasn't raised like this. James is not stupid not to see that, when at sleepless nights the only thing that calms me down is cleaning my gun.
And let's say at this point, all mine and James armoury is shining.

We eat in silence, and when I look up at James, I can tell it's killing him the most. Eventually, he pretty hardly hits a table and then crosses his hands on his chest.
"Okay, I have enough. Split, what bothers you both." I look at Lily, and she nods forward at me, mimicking her father's action by crossing her hands.
"I feel like you both agent me." I tease and put more food in my mouth.