You are the only one that understand (Bucky & Natasha)

Part 3

I yelled at him once more and then took my tea, leaving him standing there as I retreated back to my room.

I placed the cup on the nightstand and let everything out. I dropped to my knees and cried like a woman who had lost all sanity. The pain resurfaced – the same agony I had felt when it originally occurred. My heart had shattered that day and had never fully mended.

The anger I held toward him was overwhelming. It had always been there, but it was simpler when he didn't remember me initially. Now, I was at a loss, uncertain of how to proceed. I was a tangle of emotions – lost, sorrowful, and furious, all at once.

Crawling over to my desk, I retrieved a small black book from the drawer. Clutching it against my chest, I cried even harder. The seemingly ordinary book held an abundance of love and pain within its pages.

Upon opening it, a small photo fell out – an image I had managed to snatch from a file I discovered in the old KGB base many years ago. It was a photo of James from the '40s, dressed in his uniform. On the back of the photograph, the words "Sergeant James B. Barnes 1943" were written.

During my first few months in America, I carried that picture with me everywhere, fearing it might be taken from me. Much like the only possession he had asked me to safeguard – his dog tags. I had stumbled upon them along with his file, but when I offered them to him, he had refused to take them. He knew they would never allow him to keep them in his name, so he made me promise to keep them safe for him. I looped the tags around my neck and tucked them beneath my shirt, ensuring they were close to my heart. I don't really know why, but whenever I felt upset, I would do it. Perhaps it was because those tags had saved my life when I first infiltrated the S.H.I.E.L.D. base.

I wasn't one to easily succumb to emotions, but right now, they were overwhelming me. I couldn't stem the tears, no matter how hard I tried to regain control. The only thought that came to mind was to seek solace in Wanda's room. Without even knocking, I slipped into her room and lay down beside her, my sobs still consuming me.

"Nat? What's wrong?" Wanda, half-asleep, stirred in her bed upon seeing me.

"Can I stay here tonight?" My voice was barely a whisper, nearly lost in the darkness.

"Of course." Wanda pulled the blanket over me. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Nat?"

"Can you make it stop? The pain, can you make it go away? I don't want to hurt anymore; I've had my fill of pain."

"What pain? Natasha, are you hurting?"

"Just in my broken heart..."

***

I was surprised to find myself having fallen asleep again. However, I woke up just a couple of hours later. It was already light outside, giving me enough reason to get up. I left Wanda still asleep and returned to my room to change. As I was about to head out for a run, I noticed something peculiar – my black book wasn't where I had left it.

My heart skipped a beat as I started searching around the room. I saw it sitting on my bed, and a loud curse escaped my lips as I realized someone had been here.