Your Place Or Mine? BOOK VERSION (PUBLISHED BY VIVA PSICOM)

Chapter 64: After All

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos. I can't stand seeing her like this. Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit.

"Sshhh..."

Paano niya nalaman ang totoo?

I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Hinaplos ko ang likod niya. How it feels so good to feel her in my arms again. I kissed her hair. It smells unfamiliar. She changed her brand of shampoo. Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya. Parang hindi ako sanay. It's longer. But she maintained the same softness.

We stayed that way for a couple of minutes. Then she pulled away. She looked at my face and tears are still endlessly flowing in her eyes. I can't still believe it. That I'm holding her this close.

"Hindi ka– galit?" tanong niya.

I smiled and wiped her tears. "Never. Naiintinidihan kita. It's all my fault. Don't blame it to yourself."

Kumunot ang noo niya. She looked confused. Parang hindi siya makapaniwala. Maybe because I was ignoring her for the past few days.

"Why? Hindi mo man lang ako susumbatan?" She started to cry again.

Bakit ko siya susumbatan? Kasalanan ko ang lahat. Sana, simula pa lang umiwas na ako. I should've stopped my involvement in Kirsten's personal life. Sana nakining ako kay Micah. Sana hindi kami umabot sa ganito. Kung ako siguro ang nasa lugar ni Haley, ganon din ang mararamdaman ko. At ganon din ang gagawin ko.

"Tahan na. Like I said, hindi ko magawang magalit sa'yo. I understand. I know you were really jealous kaya nagalit ka sa akin. And you were pregnant. And implusive."

Tumawa siya pero patuloy pa rin ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya. I missed the sound of her laughter. Pinunasan niya ang mga luha niya.

"These pictures – I don't understand." She's holding the pink album.

Those are pictures of Reese taken from the Operating Room. One shot was, I was holding Reese in a scrub suit. I was wearing a black reading glasses. To conceal my identity.

"I was there­," sabi ko sa kanya. "I was the one who suggested you had to undergo CS. Nakita kong hirap na hirap ka na pero gusto mong maging normal ang delivery mo. And it hurts me to see you in so much pain. I was there the whole time."

She always wanted to have a normal delivery. She said, that would complete the essence of motherhood. At gusto niyang maranasan 'yon.

She's still speechless habang nakatingin sa pictures na hawak ko. Hindi siya makapaniwala. I pulled my wallet and took out a picture. Kuha ito sa delivery room. Kaming tatlo. Nakahiga si Reese sa dibdib niya. I was smiling and nakadikit ang pisngi ko sa kanya. She was asleep and still under anesthetics.

She cried again. I see her pain. Her regret. She tried to speak but she just can't. I waited for her to calm down. I had to let her cry. Kailangan niya 'yon.

Then she handed me another album.

May mga kuha rin kaming dalawa ni Reese. It's taken in a park across her Mom's place in Spain. Some shots wre taken during Reese's first birthday. I was the one of the clowns. There were pictures during Reese's baptismal. And I managed to sneak during all those times with help of Haley's Mom.

And there are tons of other shots, in various occasions.

Some were taken at the mall. I think that gave her so much to think about. How did it all happen. Especially the pictures were taken recently, for the past three months, I guess. I had the chance to take Reese to the mall, and that was the first. In two years, noon ko lang naipasyal si Reese. And I was so happy. And sad at the same time. Because I only had the chance to do that when she's out on a date. A date with I don't even want to mention his name.