CHAPTER 31

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( I haven't rechecked guys. Comment where there's an error so that I correct it immediately.)

" Baat sun na Sidharth. Kyu aise kar raha hai tu?", Shehnaaz almost cried. Her voice kept cracking with every word that she spoke. Sidharth did not respond yet again. Well, silence often tends to speak volumes but Shehnaaz was not sure of what this silence meant. She wanted him to speak to her. She wanted him to tease her just like he always did. If it was an argument that would make him say something to her, Shehnaaz was even ready to argue. She had not talked with him for weeks and it was her who knew what she was went through.

" SIDHARTH"

This would be the last call, she said to herself. It was not easy for Shehnaaz but neither was it for Sidharth. Being less expressive costed him at times. He was the one who was blamed more often for his pain was not visible. He was the one often blamed for his emotions didn't show on his face. Not to sympathize but that was what usually happened. To term one of them completely correct and blame the other wasn't right. Both of them were at fault while they were even correct at their own places. Lack of communication was the root cause of this. Had Sidharth cleared his things out with Shehnaaz, they would not have been standing where they were now. These are the small mistakes that carry with themselves the power to destroy even the strongest of the bonds.

Sidharth was facing towards his table, opposite to where Shehnaaz sat. He kept fiddling his fingers as he tapped his feet. Wasn't he willing to talk with her? He was dying to. Only if the ego didn'tstand strong. He wanted to trouble her. He wanted her to experience his pain for once but his heart forbade. Sidharth turned to her and looked into her eyes. Humming, he asked why she was there. " Baat karni hai mujhe", Shehnaaz said taking a sight of relief as Sidharth finally spoke something. Even if it was a question, she was fine with the fact that it was directed towards her.

"Baat karne ko kuch hai? It would be better agar cheezein aur na bigde", Sidharth was back to his stone hearted tone. He didn't want to talk, to sort things out. This was how Shehnaaz took his words.

The reality being the opposite,  the only thing that stopped Sidharth was that he still thought that Shehnaaz loved Kabir and he didn't want to be an obstacle in her love. Shehnaaz had always intended to be a friend of his. She fell in love later. According to what he knew, Sidharth was guilty of cheating on his love, Riya. It took him time to realise that what he thought wasn't love. It was and will always be Shehnaaz. He had decided to speak to her. Well, he would have already done that if he hadn't seen Shehnaaz in the mall, confessing her love to Kabir.

Shehnaaz wasn't the one to lose hopes and leave. He was hers, she knew it.   She was determined to find the root cause of his ignorant behavior towards her. Everytime she tried asking him a question, he turned them down immediately.

" Jaa apni Riya ke paas. Maine bhi shaayad kuch jyada hi expect kar liya. Pehle hi smajh jaana chahiye tha", Shehnaaz said as she got up to leave.
"Trusting you was a mistake. Tujhse aur expect bhi kya kar sakti hoon mai"Shehnaaz spat out in anger. She was hurt. She was angry.

Sidharth's habit of over thinking was taking a serious toll on his personal life. He always thought of getting rid of it but it seemed to have stuck to him like a  magnet. He was doing the same now. Hardly had Sidharth heard what Shehnaaz said, he got up and held her wrist. Pulling her with a jerk, he held both of her hands tightly as she dashed against his hard rock- built chest. He smelt really good.

Moving her eyes from his chest, Shehnaaz started moving them upwards and stopped at his eyes. Dark brown in colour, his eyes shined as the light reflected on the tears that filled them. Sidharth closed his eyes as he tried getting away with them and looked back at her. Shehnaaz looked into his eyes to find nothing but anger. Was it because of the fear of losing her? Was it his insecurity? Was it any of these things for these emotions of his came out in the form of anger. Shehnaaz didn't know. All that she knew was that the look scared her.

Sidharth looked into her eyes, deep enough to lose oneself but he didn't. Sidharth's eyes emitted fire. He grabbed her from the elbow as he pulled her closer, leaving no space. Not even for the air to pass through. Sidharth's breath fell on Shehnaaz's face  making it difficult for her to breathe. She felt suffocated. Turning her face to the other side she breathed in some air as a taunt came her way. 

" Pher lo muh. Aur kar bhi kya sakti ho?"

" Saans nahi aa rahi thi", she spoke in an extremely low voice. Was he fed up of her? That was the last thing that Shehnaaz imagined. She wanted her man back. This wasn't her Sidharth. Her Sidharth was someone who loved his family. He was somebody who couldn't even stand a day without talking to them. Having food with the family was the thing he never missed.

" I'm fed up with you Shehnaaz", Sidharth distanced himself from as he sighed.

Her Sidharth was the one who never got tired of her.

She couldn't bear this dislike from Sidharth. How could he be tired of her? She wanted him back. He was her Sidharth. The one standing in front wasn't even someone near to whom she knew. They kept looking at each other battling with their own hearts.

Sidharth's grip around her wrist tightened. "Tumne kaisa kahan ki mujhpe trust nahi kar sakti haan? Kis haq se bola ?", Sidharth asked. Shehnaaz did not have an answer. " Toh tune bhi toh bola mujhe", she tried to cover up. Sidharth said to her again," Maine kya bola tumhe? tum batao tumne bola kaise ki mere pe trust nahi kar sakti? Kaise merese expect nahi kar sakti?"

Shehnaaz fell silent. " Tumhe lagta hai ki sirf tum hurt hoti ho? Hurt mai bhi hota hoon. Mai dikhaata nahi iska matlab yeh nahi ki mai kuch karta nahi hoon. Tum pehle yeh batao ki tumne bola kaise haan? Tumhara kiya hua sab theek? Mujhe nahi lagta kya kuch", Sidharth had stuck to the topic. He was not going to leave it soon. 

" Sidharth jyada mat bol. Tune nahi sunaya mujhe utna kuch? Tu gussa ho toh theek? Idhar mai pagalon jaise tujhe maanaye jaa rahi hoon, tujhe farak nahi padta?", she said to him, looking straight into his eyes. It was trye that even he had been very harsh towards her. Shehnaaz had lost her calm by now.

" Mai gusse mein tha", Sidharth said to her. That wasn't justified. " Mera gussa? Meri feelings? Bol na. Why is it that I have to come to you everytime? Tu nahi aa sakta? Riya toh chale gayi. Mai toh tera present thi na tab Sidharth. How could you decide for me? Mera kuch nahi kya", she hit him with every sentence of hers.

Sidharth was guilty of the things she said. It was true that he never initiated things. It was true that he never said in words. It was true that he didn't get her extravagant gifts like others. Well, Shehnaaz wasn't the one to run after materialistic pleasures but even she wished for such things at times. It wasn't that he didn't want to. He just could not. He was not someone to speak  thousands of sweet words and do nothing. He believed in actions and never did he fail to express his love in his actions. It wasn't that he didn't want to go to her first. It was that he just couldn't speak. He never liked the luxurious gifts and dates. He rather believed in simple efforts. He wasn't a fan of the new generation love. He was a fan of the essence of purity that the relationships carried. He loved writing letters, yet simple. He was a fan of that butterfly feeling. True love isn't the one that's boasted. That was his belief.

Sidharth was firm this time. He said that he had just one question. He would answer everything once she answers it. His heart somewhere believed that it wasn't the truth but he wasn't sure. He doubted himself. He doubted his love. Had it become so weak? He didn't know. He need the assurance. He was in dire need of her assurance.

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Hello guys! Here is the next update. Thank you for cooperating and waiting for so long :) You all are really sweet. Please press the vote icon and comment a lot. Don't forget to tell me how the chapter was.

I had to tell you another thing, the story is coming to an end now. I have thought of this. I ain't sure but that's what I've thought.

Thank you guys.. Don't forget to vote and comment!

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