Every Cloud in the Skies

Chapter 5

"And then they wanted to fire her for intentionally not having the bands best interest in heart." Dirk revealed.

"And we weren't going to let them fire her just because she was standing up for Dirk." said Jax.

"And that's when they wanted to fire you because you don't come to practice. I don't know why but they're itching to get rid of one of us. So, we started having meets without them." By this point, Dirk was over comforting Kita while she tried her best to stop the crying.

"Why don't you guys just fire them?" I asked. They all exchanged glances at each other.

"We are...But not without knowing if you're still planning on eventually coming back." Jax said.

"We decided that if you come back then we'll follow you to the ends of earth...but if you decide not to then, well like you said, we have to do what's best for the band." Kita chimed in.

"But I already said-"

"Please Ethan. We're really using them as a last resort, we would prefer if you came with us. Our band was happy before them." she said. I didn't understand, why was this so important to them? If they hated Santana and Tony so much, why not just fire them? Or they could even start a new band. Why would they make their choice based on what I wanted to do? I can't even finish a song anymore. I can't even strum a chord or sing a note. The hopelessness of the situation started forming around me and it felt like the abyss was going to swallow me whole. Then I look at my friends and they look concerned and hopeful, sad and comforting. I didn't want to break all of their hearts but they left me with no choice. I sigh.

"Guys, you don't get it. I have to put my guitar in the closet because when I look at it, it makes me sick. I just...just can't-"

"Come with me dude." Dirk said interrupting me yet again, motioning me to walk with him. I was starting to get the feeling like these guys didn't want to let me talk at all. He walked me upstairs to Kita's room and opened her laptop sitting on her bed.

"Look at this." On her screen, I see her google docs opened and I recognized one of the documents that was titled "Brainstormed Songs".

"That's my document."

"Yeah. You shared it with her freshman year of high school, remember?" When I thought about it, I guess I do remember having sent it to her as a way to convince her to join the band. At the time, she wasn't particularly fond of dedicating hours of her day on music instead of school. Her parents are the traditional type: all work, no play, school comes first, you get it. Convincing them to let us use their garage was difficult and Kita didn't want to go through the drama of having to fight with her parents for something that she had a talent and love for. After seeing all the work I was putting into it, she had a change of heart and a newfound determination to not only be good in school, but also live her dream of being a bassist.

"Every day she sees that this document gets updated. You two are the only ones that have access to it and she doesn't click on it out of fear that you'll stop using it if you know that she's on it."

"Well yeah. Now I kinda want to." I Admitted. I felt like this was a complete breach of privacy.

"That's not the point. The point is that she's had hope that you'd come back for the last month and a half and she keeps that hope every day because you're still writing songs."

"Dirk they're not even songs, they're like a quarter of a song then I get a headache and shut it off."

"Ethan, look, all I'm asking is for you to really think about it."

"I've already told you, I have-"

"No you haven't. All you think about is what's 'best for the band' but I need you to start thinking about what's best for you. Do YOU want to leave this band? Do YOU want to give up on the dream? And if the answer is no, then we'll wait for you. That's the point." Dirk stared at me with such intensity. Like Kita, I've never really seen him act like this before but it made me question the way I've been acting. Was I ready to let it all go, to watch my friends get sucked into a contract that they can't escape from? For all I know, it may only be Jax actually going with them. What would Sky say if he knew that I let our dream go as if it was nothing? All of a sudden, I felt overwhelming anxiety, thinking about the band that we had worked so hard to create off with two new people who got them a deal. When I really think about it, I don't want to be left behind.