Barely A Memory

Chapter 23

For her, there had been no one after Stefan. There was no need to move on, no one to move on to. All she wanted was him, and every time she found herself in the kiss of a stranger, she only ended up closing her eyes and thinking about him, trying to make herself feel his soft, strong arms around her, trying to make herself smell his manly, comforting scent of leather and clouds. Some nights, when she felt especially lonely, she would ask vampires if they once knew him before she killed them; they never did. Maybe if one did know Stefan, she'd let him go.

She closed her eyes and saw his green ones. Every night. She heard his voice in the silence, heard his broken words through the phone. "I wasn't enough," he once said. "I wasn't enough."

All she wanted was to heal his wounds, see if he was okay. She wanted to fix everything, find him and hold him close. Keep him safe from this new supposed threat that was the blood coursing through his veins.

But more than anything, all Elena wanted to do was see his face and stare into his green eyes again. Her entire body literally ached for it.

When she pulled up to the Salvatore boarding house, her heart was racing. She ran out of the car and rushed to the door, knocking three times. She waited a few seconds and was getting ready to knock again when it swung open. She stopped breathing, so excited to finally lay eyes on...

"Damon."

She had to admit, her heart deflated a little.

His eyes immediately widened in shock. "Elena...," he said slowly, completely surprised. He looked the same as he always had, except his hair had gotten a little longer. He was strangely tense in her presence and it hurt. It hurt a lot that he did not immediately wrap his arms around her, though she couldn't blame him, really. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh... I was looking for Stefan."

He looked her over, head to toe for a while to note any changes. She noticed that he did not step aside to let her in. His posture was still stiff. "He's not here."

"Where is he?" she questioned, still smiling, trying to stay polite despite her sudden rushed heartbeat.

Damon stayed straight faced. "It's been two years, Elena."

She wasn't quite sure how to respond. Damon was being so cold, so distant... "Is he okay?" she asked, suddenly feeling a cold, dreaded rush of panic run through her entire body. Oh, god. If something had happened to Stefan, if Stefan had died thinking she didn't love him, if she wasn't even there to say goodbye... Why did no one have the decency to invite her to the funeral? She was going to kill them, kill all of them for not telling her...

She felt like she was going to pass out. She reached for something to grab, her breathing suddenly speeding up. Damon stepped out on the porch and grabbed her shoulders roughly. "He's fine! Stefan's fine. Ok? He's fine."

His words sent a wave of relief through her. "He is?" she repeated, trying to recover from her near panic attack.

"Yes. He's in college. Again. Even though he doesn't remember the first five times." There it was. There was some of that Damon snark she remembered so well. Elena nodded slowly until she made a sudden realization in Damon's words.

"He chose not to remember?"

"Yup," he confirmed, finally stepping aside near the door to let Elena in. She cautiously made her way inside, staring around. The Salvatore mansion hadn't changed at all. It seemed to be the only thing that hadn't. "Burned all his journals, too."

She frowned at that. "Because of me."

Damon said nothing.

There was a long silence, and she felt tempted to ask how he'd been, if he was still with Katherine, but she decided against it. She wanted to explain herself, too, but no words would come out. "What's he doing in college?"

Damon narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "What are you doing here, Elena?"

She was hurt by his harsh attitude towards her. "I heard more news about the cure."

He rolled his eyes. "That's still an issue? It's been two years!"

"I really need to find Stefan," she pleaded, staring into his eyes, just as blue as always, feeling desperate. "I know you don't understand. And I know you hate me because I destroyed him, or maybe you hate me for hurting you, but please, Damon, I need you to tell me where he is."

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Stefan walked through the Whitmore campus, a pile of books on his arm and a phone squeezed between his shoulder and neck. "No, Caroline," he chuckled. "I don't have an issue with the fact that you like Titanic. I have an issue with the fact that you expect me to watch it with you." There was a brief pause as she replied on the other end, something about it being a classic. "You're a drama major. Shouldn't you be watching movies with decent acting?" He continued to walk, trying to pay attention to balancing the books, not running into people, and listening to his babbling friend. "Yes, I guess that Leonardo DiCaprio is—" Wait a minute. Who did he just pass?

He stopped in his tracks, frozen when he recognized her, no more than a foot away. She was stopped as well, her brown eyes filling with something he could not discern. That was a face he'd recognize anywhere. He knew this girl. She looked a little different, older, but yes, that was definitely her. That was her. And it made no sense. His heart nearly hit the floor.

"I'm going to have to call you back," he said quickly before hanging up the phone, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. There were far too many emotions running through his mind in this moment and he had absolutely no way to identify each and every one of them.

"Hi, Elena," was all that he could muster.

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