Barely A Memory

Chapter 8

XXXX

"Knock knock," Damon said jokingly as he entered Stefan's bedroom. Stefan, who had been vigorously writing in his journal for the past hour, hardly even acknowledged his brother's presence. The older Salvatore dramatically rolled his eyes upon noticing what Stefan had been up to all night. "You're starting that up again? Come on, Stef, you haven't left your room since you got home."

"Do not call me 'Stef,' please." Stefan still did not look up, his pen rapidly moving to form every sharp word on the paper. "I need to get my thoughts out somehow," he said, disinterested in the conversation.

Smirking, Damon replied, "Now that's the broody Stefan I've been missing." He chuckled to himself, but deflated a bit when he realized his brother was not paying much attention to him. "What put you in a mood this time? Did the fridge run out of peanut butter? No more hair gel? You forgot how to do your hair? Nah, you'd never forget how to do your hair. That's basic instinct by now, right little bro?"

"Mmmmhmm."

"Did you even hear a word I just said?"

Stefan rolled his eyes and finally set the book down, glaring at his brother. "How are you the older sibling?"

Damon grinned. "Stop being an inverted teenager." Stefan scoffed, turning back to the journal. "I'm heading over to Elena's. Do you need anything? Hair gel?"

Stefan froze at the mention of Elena's name, but quickly brushed it off. "No, I'm fine. Have fun with her," he replied nonchalantly. Damon shrugged and quickly exited. After waiting for a few minutes, when Stefan saw his brother's car pull away from the window, he threw the journal in his hands to the floor and ran over to the bookshelf in his room.

Before grabbing one of his older journals, Stefan reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through numerous confusing things called "apps" and "contacts" until he finally got to music. Curious as to what Stefan Salvatore 1.0 had been listening to before his brain had been completely wiped, Stefan 2.0 invaded his personal space and started to play the song on high volume. It was titled "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers. What a stupid song name, and an even stupider band name. He rolled his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that night and set the phone down as the lead singer of The Killers screamed words about falling asleep and having a smoke and being sick? He wasn't paying much attention.

Tuning everything else out, Stefan began to look at the dates on his hundreds of journals. 2010? Too early. 2002? Still too early.

As he did this, his mind began to wander to Elena and everything that had happened between them at the swimming hole. Why had he kissed her like that? It wasn't like he was planning to kiss her. It just happened! And afterwards, she had completely shut down. He'd scared the living hell out of here surely, and now, much to his luck, she would probably want nothing to do with him. He considered calling Caroline and asking her for advice, but decided he would tell her at school. He wanted to be alone tonight. He was on a mission right now.

But he could not concentrate! He couldn't even help it when he started to think about what Elena was up to at the moment. She was probably at home, spending time with Damon –his brother —and loving him.

Like she should be loving me, a distant part in his mind whispered, but he did not regard it. He was too busy gritting his teeth at the image of the two of them together. She was probably kissing him and making him feel like the only man in the world.

"She's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now

Let me go."