chapter 1

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Well since I was little as 5 years old I could here my parents fighting. See my parents fighting. I would watch my dad throw plates and watch them shatter watch him punch walls and make big holes. I'd watch him break all sorta of things plates, the kitchen cabinets Even parts of the refrigerator. I was scared to death I would hide in my bathroom I didint have a lock on my door so I would barricade my self in my room. Crying hoping he wouldn't come in he came in and grabbed me and sat me on his lap my mom yelled for him to leave me alone she said "she don't want to see you that's why she has the vacuum against the door!" She was right my dad said " if I want to see my kids I can!" He didn't hurt me. I love my dad and I know he loves me but he hurts my feelings in a way that is impossible to describe. He says 3 words to me a week sometimes he doesn't even know who I am at all. Well I don't know who I am at all.....maybe if he gave me just a little bit more of attention I coulda been better. I'll skip to when I was 7 in second grade my very best friends was mykee and sierra. Especially mykee cause sometimes Sierra was mean to me... She would call me stupid and she would say all I care about was chance. Oh chance my little kid crush I fell in love with his blue eyes and blond curls I loved all the jokes he made and he was shy just like me. We were perfect for eachother.. I thought. Mykee was always sweet we never had a fight. We did everything together she showed me the heart that was in one of the trees on the playground that was our tree, our spot. That's where we played and shared secrets such as " I like chance" and hers " I like Dylan" her and Dylan starting dating I remember when he held her hand she loved it so much. At our school the younger grades had "pirate play day" a day where we just played all day and could bring any toys we wanted to. Mykee would bring her monkey and I bring as many stuffed animals as momma let me another thing about this day your parents could come to the school and stay with you and we didn't have to eat school lunch my mom would always bring me pizza a little personal size pizza. Mykees mom never came though... mykee would cry and ask why my mom came and her never did, why she didn't get pizza so my mom would start bringing us both a pizza and dr.pepper (my addiction). I've been saying mykee all this time but her name was Mykell she told me to call her mykee cause she thought Mykell was a boys name. Mykee was a sweet girl smart too, sweet smart, beautiful and so funny. She was my very best friend In the world.

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