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16 | Fix

"Tobirama, what do you mean?" Hashirama repeats.

Tobirama shuts his eyes and sighs. Given the situation he's currently at, he really has no choice but to tell Hashirama.

"Your memories of Madara aren't lost," he explains. "They're sealed. At least, that's what we know. Mito's the one who figured that out, by the way."

There's confusion in Hashirama's face. It's obvious that he's shocked to hear this. However, he doesn't say a word and only listens closely.

"Mito and I are working together to create a jutsu that will counter that sealing jutsu casted on you. At this point, we still don't know what really happened and more importantly, who used that jutsu against on you, but once we finish it and you regain your lost memories, there's a chance that we'll find out..." He pauses, looking Hashirama in the eye. "I want you to remember, anija. About Madara, about what happened and why he left."

As if on reflex, Hashirama grasps the pendant of his necklace. Whether he's conscious of this or not, Tobirama wouldn't know.

He waits for the older to say something but when he still doesn't, Tobirama adds, "I thought Mito has already told you. About it all."

Hashirama shakes his head, letting go of the necklace and putting his hand back on his lap. "No. She told me to ask you instead," he says calmly. "She respects your decision to keep it a secret from me."

It should be strange but Tobirama finds himself smiling fondly at the thought.

"Since when?" Hashirama asks.

The smile vanishes in an instant. Tobirama grits his teeth. No use in lying now. "I started working on it since the day you left the village to fight...him."

"...Three months and I didn't even have the slightest idea," Hashirama says monotonously, almost as if he's telling all of this to himself instead (probably because all of it hasn't sink in yet).

"I'm sorry, anija."

"What are you sorry for?" Hashirama lifts his head. He's smiling, amidst the tears that continuously fall from his eyes. "It's me, Tobirama. It's my fault. I'm sorry I didn't do anything. I'm sorry I've been too busy with my own problems that I didn't realize that you're overworking yourself because of me."

Tobirama hates seeing his older brother like this. He hates that Hashirama carries all the burden, all while blaming himself when the truth is that, it's not his fault. He just...loved the wrong person, is all.

"Anija."

"I'm sorry, Tobirama. I'm really sorry. You can stop now, you and Mito. I'll be alright. You don't have to worry about me anymore, okay? So please, don't overwork yourself again. I'm your older brother. I must be the one who takes care of you, not the other way around."

"But clearly, you're not okay, anija," Tobirama counters, and this causes Hashirama to avoid eye contact. Why must his older brother be so stubborn?

"I want to help you. Please, let me help you."

"I told you, Tobi," Hashirama says with an obviously forced laugh. "I'll be fine."

Tobirama's lips form a thin line. "Don't you...want to remember?" Because if Hashirama doesn't want to, there's no point in carrying on with the jutsu anymore.

For a long time, Hashirama doesn't answer.

-----

Of course, he wants to remember. He's spent countless hours thinking about how he lost his memories of Madara, all of those sleepless nights thinking about why he left.