"I'm not the monster on the inside." • [Tom x Reader]

𝟠. I'll Always Be Here...

{Warning!: anxiety, mental trauma, and a bit of PTSD}

Last chapter;
But.. I just hope she can help us get out of here and get Tom out again..

Tom's POV

once we got taken to our room I waited until the door was shut to hug y/n. "I'm sorry I got us in this mess y/n..." I quietly. I felt her hug me back. I rubbed her back slowly as I just felt so bad that she had to go through this...

"It's ok Tom... it's not your fault. We will get through this together and if I need to, I will try and defend you as much as I could tom... I don't want you to go through what you did last time.." I heard y/n say. I couldn't help but tear up a bit as.. no one has said something like that to me and it meant a lot to me. I hugged her a bit closer to me as I started to cry I to her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry y/n.... fuck I even told you I'd protect you..." I said quietly crying into her shoulder. I held her tightly but not enough to make her uncomfortable. I felt her rub my back and try to tell me that everything is ok. "But y/n... it's not ok... this is not all ok... fucking hell, I dragged you to the place that mentally fucked me up!" I cried into her more. God I felt horrible. Anything worse then horrible.

She tells me that things will be ok but it will not be. I'm going to go through things much worse than I did last time... I'm going to go through this pain over and over and over again. Hell at least Matt and Edd aren't in his power. They are in hiding right now.. I haven't spoken to them in a long time as I'm afraid of getting them caught.

"Tom... listen to me... listen to my voice... don't think of anything else ok?" I heard y/n say. I just couldn't if I tried. "Y-y/n I can't... I'm getting so much anxiety... I don't want them to hurt you... I don't want to go through the pain I did... fuck what if that bastard kills you in front of me?!-" y/n cut me off by saying, "Tom.... I'll make sure Tord does nothing to you. Let's not worry about the future and worry about the present. I want you to go to bed tonight not worrying about anything... I don't think they'd do anything to you on the first day Tom-" "yes they will. They did it last time and they will sure as hell do it again y/n..." I began to feel my body start to shake from all this anxiety I'm feeling.

My chest is thumping and I feel sick to my stomach but nothing will come out. I'm feeling light headed and feel like I just can't speak anymore because no one would be able to hear my cries for help in those walls...

"I-I can't lose you to him y/n... please... promise me that you won't fall for him and his tricks... and if you ever get caught or hurt by him.... I'm sorry that I couldn't be there.... fucking hell.... I'm just so sorry y/n.... I don't want you to feel the pain I felt... I don't want to go back to that room.... I don't want to go back..." I cried into her even more. I was scared. I will admit it. I was scared, anxious... and loosing hope for myself.

Y/n's POV

I felt like crying myself. Yes I was worried but I was more worried about Tom as I can tell he was panicking pretty badly, having a anxiety attack. "Tom please... lets go sit down ok?" I said as I lead him to one of the beds. I sit on the edge of it with him as I hugged him close to me. This was the type of hug you wouldn't want to pull away from ever.