Slipping Father • Namjoon!Father + BTS!Adults

xv.

"Doesn't it...upset you?" Jimin asked softly. It upset him. It seemed obvious to him that all cops weren't bad, just like all people weren't bad. So why was it such a point of contention for others? Or was he just naïve?

He watched her knuckles tighten over the wheel, and the car sped up for half a second before she eased her foot off the gas. "I...can't say that it doesn't," she admitted after a second, still looking out straight ahead instead of over at him. "But I can half understand it, at least."

"I don't understand it at all," Jimin mumbled, flicking his eyes to the side mirror to see the house flash in the glass before disappearing.

"People are scared," Lisa said after a second while she drifted into the left turn lane. "Police officers have a tough job, and in order to serve and protect people, we're granted certain permissions and authority. But when police officers use that authority incorrectly, or when they choose actions that aren't part of our allowed permissions, then there's usually a bad ending. Nobody wants a bad ending," she finished quietly. "But of course those are the endings people remember. And I can't really fault them for that. It's scary thinking that there are people out there with the power and motivation to hurt you and the people you care about. But, Jimin, I really don't know any cops who wake up in the morning wanting to hurt people. That's not to say they aren't out there, but it's far from 'most,' and it's definitely far from 'all.'"

"It's the bad cops out there who give everyone else a bad name," Jimin said, still feeling unsettled because he'd been watching the television for weeks and hadn't been able to come to his own conclusion on matter. "Why can't the police just weed out the bad cops before they create the bad endings you're talking about?"

"Jimin, I agree with you one hundred percent," Lisa said. The green arrow flicked on, and she eased onto the gas. "Officers who aren't ready to protect and serve – and to do so fairly and without discrimination – shouldn't get a badge or a gun or anything. Police officers have a lot of power, and bad people can use that power to do very bad things." She pulled up to another stop sign and looked over at Jimin for a long moment. There were no cars behind them, which gave her a little bit of time. "But, Jimin – and please believe me, I'm not trying to influence your opinion on anything because your dad raised you to be a free, independent thinker and I absolutely agree with him on that – but Jimin, please believe me when I tell you that no one hates a bad cop more than a good cop."

A car started pulling up behind them, and Lisa eased through the stop sign, looking back out over the road, and Jimin let her words sink in.

No one hates a bad cop more than a good cop.

Jimin believed that there were good cops and bad cops. Lisa, Jaebum, Officer Lee, everyone at the station who had helped him in two major stages of his life – those were his good cops, cops who wanted to bring missing boys back to their families and find justice for victims and protect people. But Jimin knew that there had to be bad cops too. He'd never met any, but he knew they were out there because bad people were out there and they worked their way into every profession.

"Lisa?"

"Yes, Jimin?"

They were getting close to Yoongi's apartment now, but he still had more questions.

"Do you think that Jaebum died for nothing?" The words were past his lips, and although he hated the paleness that spread over Lisa's face as a result, it was the question that had been haunting his mind for the past few months, intensifying once Lisa had returned. He could ask it now or later, but it was going to come out at some point.

"I think...that he shouldn't have died," Lisa said, clenching the steering wheel once more and sniffing at the air in an effort to hold back her emotions. "Jaebum and I...we were just part of a small force stationed along that street because there were reports of protestors growing violent, and a few fights had broken out and resulted in civilian injuries. We were there to protect people and property from being destroyed. We were there-" Her voice started to shake. "-to protect and serve, because that's our job." Lisa took a deep breath, and Jimin regretted having asked her in a car because this was probably the first opportunity she'd had to talk about the incident and she couldn't even give it her full attention without crashing the vehicle. "We weren't there to incite violence. But people want violence, right now. And they wanted-" She took one hand off the wheel and held it over her mouth, trying to remain strong enough to finish her thought. "And they wanted to hurt us. And they did. They killed Jaebum and they put me in a coma. And it still didn't give them the happy ending that they wanted."

Jimin was silent. He wanted to tell Lisa that it was okay, that she didn't have to talk about it, but he didn't want to stop her if she needed to share in order to cope. He knew that talking things out sometimes made them a little less painful, and he didn't want to deprive her of that emotional relief, but he still felt horrible for asking.

"But, do I think he died for nothing?" Lisa repeated, placing her hand back on the wheel and blinking rapidly to catch any rogue tears. "No. Because...maybe this is unrealistic of me, I don't know." Her hands shifted on the wheel slightly as though she were gearing herself up. "I never wanted him to die. But I can't change that now, all I can hope is that some of those protestors saw what happened, that Jaebum didn't injure anyone else even when he was mobbed by violent people. I hope they find out what a good cop he was-" Another sniff, but Jimin could tell by the strength in her eyes that she wasn't going to break down, that she was steel and she was fire and she may bend but she would not break. "-and what a good man he was, and I hope they will mourn the loss of him in our community. The world needs more cops like him, not less."

Jimin nodded, and he rested a hand on the center console. He wanted to reach out and offer Lisa some small physical comfort – a squeeze on the shoulder or a small touch on her arm – but he didn't cross the distance between them, just put his hand in the middle for her to take if she wanted to. "The world needs more cops like you, too," Jimin said quietly.

Lisa stilled for a long moment, and the car rolled to a stop on the shoulder of the road in front of Yoongi's apartment building. She swallowed, closing her eyes, and her hand fell from the wheel, fumbling for a moment before meeting his, and she ran her thumb over his knuckle, squeezing as though to reassure herself of his presence. "Go," she said after a long moment, opening her eyes and looking out her side window, her hand still in his. "You've got a party to go to, right?"

"I mean it, Lisa." There had always been a part of her that rejected acceptance. Jimin had noticed it a long time ago, how she was always hesitant with kind words and sincerity. How, when Namjoon would hold her hand in his, she would look over with a questioning wonderance as though asking him if he were really okay with (just) her. How, despite being a part of their family life for twenty odd years, she was still surprised to be included in their traditions and activities. And while that part of Lisa frustrated him, it resonated with him too, because he understood that sort of broken.

"Thank you," she said quietly, giving his hand another squeeze before extricating her fingers from his, giving his hand a pat, and placing her hand back on the wheel. "Now, off you go. Have a good time, Jimin. I mean it. And don't hesitate to call me if you need a ride home from the slumber party."

"You'll be the first person I call," Jimin promised with a smile because he knew that Lisa, for good or bad, derived her own sense of value from her usefulness. She liked feeling needed, liked knowing that people could depend on her. So even if Jimin figured that he could probably take the driving test and get his own license, he didn't, because it gave Lisa an excuse to drive him around and feel wholly and utterly necessary to his existence.

Lisa, his good cop.

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published 08/18/20 (mm/dd/yy)