Barely A Memory

Chapter 12

He didn't even hear the rapid knock on the door, and only pulled away from Katherine when she huffed in annoyance after about thirty seconds of endless pounding. As soon as she did so, he furrowed his brows, surprised by his actions. When she opened the door, he wiped the blood from his lips, and jumped when he heard a familiar voice.

"Where is he?"

Almost by instinct, Stefan said her name. "Elena." It was then that he realized what exactly he'd experienced with Katherine, and his face crinkled in disgust. Had he actually forgotten about Elena in those two seconds? He felt dirty suddenly and wanted to wash her handprints off of his skin, wash her blood out of his veins. But then he remembered Elena, and what exactly she'd put him through, and his face went stone cold again.

Upon hearing his voice, Elena pushed past Katherine, rushing to Stefan. "Oh my god, Stefan!" She placed her hands on his chest and looked intently into his dilated eyes. "You weren't downstairs and Damon and I called Caroline and when you weren't there we- What are you doing here? Why is there blood on your shirt?"

Katherine, now leaning against the farthest wall, crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't worry. It's probably just my blood. No wait, it could be his." Bored by Elena's presence, she checked her nails.

Swiftly, Elena turned to Katherine with a fierce, burning glare. "You shared blood with him?" Her voice was replete with fury, and almost immediately she turned back to Stefan, checking his pulse and vitals frantically. "Please don't tell me she turned you." He didn't reply. "God damn it, Stefan! Answer me!" Acting out of irrational fear and jealously, she slapped him hard across the face. He fell back a bit, bringing his palm up to his jaw. Whipping around, she was shaking when she directed her words back at Katherine. "Did you kill him?"

"Geez, calm down," she answered nonchalantly. "I wouldn't kill him. Now that he can turn, it's his choice. He knows what to do."

Elena wanted to explode with profanities and violence, but she was unable to do either. There was a long pause before Stefan finally interjected, "Thank you, Katherine." With that, he reached onto the floor for Damon's jacket and quickly strode out of the room. Elena wanted to have the last word with Katherine, but after a few moments, she followed Stefan out, not even looking back at her heartless doppelganger.

Elena ran out of the bed and breakfast doors, nearly missing Stefan. He was furiously reaching into his pockets for keys when she yelled, "What is wrong with you?" Instead of replying, Stefan turned, his eyes cold. "You went to Katherine! You shared blood with her! Do you even know how much that can mess with your head? How could you do that?"

Jaw set, he glared at her. "You mean how could I do that to you."

Elena crossed her arms over her chest, before changing her mind and throwing them into the air. "Yes, Stefan. How could you do that? We were finally in a good place! Why would you just want to throw that away?"

He was now beginning to lose his calm. "Are you kidding me?"

"What? So there's logic behind it? Please do explain!"

Stefan gave Elena the coldest look she'd ever seen, and it frightened her. It wasn't an expression that made her feel threatened, but the lack of love in his eyes was enough to give her pause. "These last few weeks," he began, his breath visible in the cold night air. "How much of it has been a lie?"

Her face twisted in puzzlement. "What are you talking about?"

"When were you going to tell me that I died?" he questioned flatly, and Elena's heart twisted.

"Damon and I wanted to protect you," she offered, her voice suddenly a lot quieter than it had been a moment ago.

Stefan didn't even acknowledge her words, instead twisting the car key in his hand and slamming it into the keyhole of Damon's mustang. After missing a few times, he threw the key on the ground and breathed heavily for a few moments. "When were you going to tell me that you were the girl from my dream?"

Elena froze. "Stefan..."

He lifted his hand to stop her. "When were you going to tell me that I died just to please you? Huh, Elena? Care to tell me about how you broke my heart and stomped on it? Would you mind telling me again about how you've been looking me in the eye and lying to me for all of this time? You saw me breaking over this 'mystery girl.' I was falling apart over it, and you just watched. I thought what we were going through these past few weeks... I thought it was real."

"It was- it is!" She could feel cold tears beginning to pour down her face. "Stefan, please."

He shook his head. "Did I get anything wrong? I mean, it was pretty easy to figure out as soon as Katherine said you were a vampire." In an instant, his face got a little softer, filling with desperation. "Please tell me it's not true. That all of this is just a misunderstanding and you haven't been lying to me this whole time."

Elena swallowed thickly and looked at the pavement. "Please," she begged, confirming his worries and failing to hide the fact that she was crying. "I just... I didn't want to hurt you again."

Stefan shook his head. "Well, Elena, you did." He finally got the key into the whole, biting his lip. "And I know I didn't want to know everything about my past, but..." He didn't even know where he was going with this. His sobs were wracking his entire body and he couldn't think anymore. "You killed me twice."

Elena watched as he slammed the car door shut and drove away. Suddenly feeling numb, she slowly made her way into her dark car, gripped the steering wheel, and just stared.

For the first time, she realized that she had actually lost Stefan Salvatore.

And she had no one to blame but herself.

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