The Love I Have Hoped For

The New Me

I woke up the next day feeling more relaxed and determined. Today, everything will change.
I spent a longer time preparing to go to work than usual. After having breakfast, I prepared all the things I need for work. I also spent more time choosing what clothes and shoes to wear. I don't have a lot in my closet but I think my wardrobe is decent enough. I like shopping during my free time, though I don't normally use the clothes I bought. I just put them in my closet and feel satisfied just looking at them. I think now is the time for me to make use of them. That's the main purpose why people buy clothes anyway.

I left hope feeling light-hearted. As I took the bus, I can feel some eyes looking at me which made me ask myself. Is my dress too short? Am I showing too much skin?

I arrived the office expecting my colleagues would tease me, but this time it will be in a positive way.
As I approached the entrance, the guard smiled at me.

"Good morning." He said which I greeted back.

In the elevator, I can see people glancing at me, maybe trying to recognize me.

When I reached my desk, Annie, who always arrives the office early came to me immediately.

"Jez!" Her mouth opened. "Wow! Why didn't you dress up like that before? You look different. Is it really you?"

"Haha! Crazy. I just had a good rest yesterday and I felt good so I decided to spend some time putting make up and wear the clothes I bought."

That day, I put light make up. I learned it from watching vlogs in Youtube, thanks to them. I am wearing a light pink colored dress which is above-the-knee in length. I am also wearing heels which is really not common. I even spent some time practicing to walk before going to work. I also curled my hair on the end. Normally, I just tie my hair or make a bun.

"I am so happy for you. Are you in love with Lance? Is that the reason why you change?" Annie, who started to look worried.

"Of course not. I am changing for myself. I realized I'm already getting older. If I don't take care of myself, how can I meet someone who would take care of me? And Lance, you're correct, he has a girlfriend and I don't want to ruin their relationship." I explained.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Of course!" I almost shouted.

Some of my colleagues who I talked to only because of work also came to my desk to compliment my new look.

"I hope you always look like that." Says one.

"You are pretty. If you were like that before, maybe you're the one I got married with." Says another.

All these words make me feel more confident about myself.

Annie is staring at me, smiling. "I am so proud of you, Jez." She said with teary eyes.

"That's too much." I said.

"How about we go out tonight? Let's have a date, just the two of us. Let's celebrate the new you." She suggested.

"Sounds nice. Yeah, let's do that." I replied.

"Good then. Anyway, let's start working. Enough of the drama." Then she left for her desk.

That day is totally different from the others. Mr. Smith, who used to boss me around, became more polite when ordering something.

"Could you duplicate these files, please." He asked.

"Sure, boss." My usual reply when he asked me something.

"Could you call Mr. Terrence. I need to discuss the new project with him."

"Sure, boss."

"Thanks." And he now even know how to say thank you.

I am still not used to the attention and treatment I am getting now but I told myself, I will never go back to the old me again. I will be better each day, and I won't be scared to meet people, to make friends, to fall in love.

Annie and I got off work that late afternoon feeling happy. We have many plans for tonight. Dine in a Japanese restaurant, go to a karaoke room, drink a bottle of beer each and play in the arcade. I was excited to experience things I deprived myself of in the past.

First stop - Japanese restaurant

We ordered sashimi, and some food I don't know the name. I just followed what Annie ordered. We were happy chatting about everything. I told him about Lance and what happened between the two of us.

"Really? He is so bad." Annie exclaimed. "How could he do that to you without even asking what happened. He could have just told you what he felt when you left. Did he send you a message or call you after last night?

"Negative. We never talked after that time. And I think there is no reason for us to talk again. I told him that I hope we don't see each other again." I explained.

If I see that guy, I will kick his face!" Annie sounding angry.

"I'm okay. I am not like him. I won't avenge him. And besides, I should thank him. I feel better now because of him. He made me realize that I am missing a lot of things because I was scared trying." Me smiling.

"You're right. But I'm still worried about you. If he comes back, never ever accept him, nor his apologies. You don't deserve someone like him." She said.

"Yeah, don't worry." I said.

"And tonight, we will hunt for men. We will search for your partner. Then we can have double dates, you and him and me and my boyfriend." She sounds hopeful.

"Let's eat, I'm hungry." I said.

We enjoyed the food. This is my first time going to a Japanese restaurant. I realized for the past days, I was experiencing many firsts in my life, and it was good.

After eating, we headed to the karaoke room. We sang different songs while dancing. We also ordered bottles of beer. We don't care if we have work tomorrow. We have to celebrate tonight!
After a couple of songs, we got tired, took a rest then sang again. Maybe it is the alcohol already kicking in but we danced so energetically.

After an hour, we decided to just go to a cafe instead of a bar since we are already a bit tipsy. We ordered black coffee for us to feel better.

While waiting for our order, we noticed a man staring at us and smiling. We were a quite scared although he looks decent. When we got our order, we were just talking about what we will do tomorrow, hoping that we won't feel so tired.

Then, a waiter came to us with a slice of cake.

"This cake is a gift from the man on the next table. He wants me to give you this." He handed a note saying:

"Hi, can we be friends?"