Loving Damon

| 38 | His Return

A/N: So the results from the poll on my Instagram were up & wayyy over 50% of you guys asked for chapter 38 to be posted today and wait a few more days for the next. Soooooo, here it is ya'll 😉 (Sorry my fake country girl ass came out) 😂😍

| Ariel |

"He's not ready and I'm not sure he will ever be. I'm trying to be so understanding of him this past month but that twinge of pain fails to leave me every time I think about him."

"...And you're not ready to move on to someone else knowing you will not give them your all. You're not like that Ariel, your too sweet to lead another man on."

Ricki explained perfectly from the laptop in front of me. His cute face was on perfect view in the video chat, complete with a green face mask that claims to give nourishment and rejuvenate his skin.

I looked up from the cake batter in front of me. I dipped a finger in the chocolatey goodness, a very rookie move, and couldn't resist sucking the Dutch chocolate batter off my finger. I smiled a smile that didn't reach my eyes as I glanced up at him on the computer screen.

"No, I'm not..." I gave a resigned sigh. "I don't want to spend the rest of my best years holding out my heart to Damon, waiting for him to accept all the love I have to offer him either." I shook my head while I grabbed my cupcake tin and lined the 12 molds with silver cupcake liners.

"I'm not going to pathetically wait for him for the rest of my life but I'm also not going to jump into something with Aden, no matter how sweet he is, when I don't feel like it's the time..." I explained to Ricki now as I poured the chocolate batter into the lined tins.

I was making an order of four dozen Drunken Dutch Devil cupcakes for a 21st birthday, or as I love to call them the triple D cupcakes. I recently created this new recipe a month ago and it's been a hit ever since! Simply put, its double chocolate cupcakes, the middle bursting with red ganache and a shot top flavor infuser filled with berry Bacardi.

"...I think I'm just going to call off the date." I mumbled.

He sighed and switched his position to now lay on his stomach on top of his bed, instead of Indian style. "I get it beautiful. What you need to do is focus on yourself! After all the horrid bullshit he who shall not be named, put you through and now this heartbreak with potentially the man you are meant to be with, meant to have babies with, meant to spend the rest of your life – "

"Ricki!" I cut him off, the mixing bowl slamming on the table as I sent him a glare through the computer screen "Do you have a point to this very overdrawn statement?" I truly didn't mean to snap at him, I was just tried of loving someone who couldn't find it within themselves to admit their love for me.

He winced and eyed me sheepishly "Damn. I'm sorry Ari. All I meant by that whole thing was focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy and you'll see life will slowly turn around."

I smiled and chewed on my lower lip. Leaning my arms against the counter, I pushed the mixing bowl away from the screen and pursed my lips, sending an air kiss Ricki's way. "Thank you. That's exactly what I'm trying to do."

Ricki quickly go into conversation about Lena and Emma and how they were doing and from there we spoke about Lena's new fashion line with her husband and Emma's wedding planning. We spoke for close to an hour before I asked the gnawing question that has been on my mind since we started our video chat.

I cleared my throat and looked away "Have you heard anything on D-Dr...his whereabouts? Anything suspicious?"

Even though I had given up on him a long time ago, moved on, and erased him from my memories as well as my life, I still feared the real person Andrew was and what's more is I feared he didn't forget me and maybe he would do something drastically stupid to find me and get me back.