Loving Damon

| 32 | Birthday Princess

A/N: Make sure you play the song to get in the moment LOL if not just sing it in your head, I'm sure most of us know how this goes!😉

| Damon |

You say you'll be down in five
The smell of your perfume
Is floating down the stairs
You're fixing up your hair like you do
I know that I'll be a mess
The second that I see you
You won't be surprised

It happens every time
It's nothing new
It's always on a night like tonight
I thank God you can read my mind
'Cause when you look at me with those eyes

The last three weeks with Ariel have been nothing short of amazing. I got to know her in ways I never thought I would...

Ive drowned in her body, seeked out her soul, soaked up her intelligence, and reveled in her talent -- as promised she makes me half a dozen of her addicting chocolate chip muffins every week. In the past three weeks it has never failed, every Sunday she shows up at my place with a box of six muffins. We share one together, watch a Harry Potter movie, I'm proud to say she's turned me into a Harry Potter nerd, and we then end the night with the most amazing rough, hard, passionate sex I've ever experienced.

I am putting myself in a position I never thought I would be in again and everyday I try harder to push myself out of it.

 I can't fall in love with her. I refuse to let that happen again. Im not sure I would survive it with her if I fell so hard only to crash and burn. 

I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have gone this far. I shouldn't have become this...Invested.

As much as my mind tries to deny it, deep in my heart I know Im fucking done for, I'm invested but I refuse to say it. I refuse to give up and say that what we have shared the past month or so is more than just sex.

I keep replaying that motto in my mind 'It cant be more than sex.' Its raw fucking, undeniable passion and lust. 

My heart beats hard in my chest almost like its kicking me for thinking such idiotic things, taunting me to say that words. Tell her that Im in l -

I clear my throat and shake my head free from those thoughts, those same thoughts Ive been having for three weeks, since the moment I realized Aden could possible be the perfect match for Ariel. He could change her mind, he could show her all the things she was missing and give them to her within the blink of an eye. He wasn't fucked up like me. He was...perfect for her.

And that thought. That simple thought made my heart drop to my stomach and my knee buckle. If I hadn'tt had been sitting down that day in his bakery, I would have had half a mind to stop myself for toppling over at the shocking revelation.

I chewed the feelings and spit them out. I forced myself to stop thinking of Ariel that way as soon as I got into my car. I had too, she didn't deserve my fucked up mentality and having to put me back together. She deserved someone confident, who knew what he wanted.

I know what I want but I refuse to let myself have it and it's right now in this moment that Im trying to figure out why.

Her door was slightly ajar as I reached her bedroom. I pushed it open as slow as I could to not make my presence known just yet and what I saw took my fucking breath away.

She had her back towards me as she placed dangling diamond earrings on her ears. She hummed along to the familiar song playing in the background, one that could have given me chills from irony.