My Boyfriend's Brother

Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

 

The day went by and it was pretty boring, me being the scared and shitty girlfriend that I am, I left Sam's house a few minutes after I woke up- without even saying bye to his mother or Ian. The only reason Sam didn't ask me why I was leaving so soon was because I had told him I wanted to wait to see him tonight for the double-date we had planned with Ian and Jenn later, and I'm shocked he actually bought that excuse.

I left him with a chaste kiss goodbye and all but ran home.

When I got in my parents weren't home, most likely at work, and my little sister Beth was asleep on the couch. Afterwards I had went up to my room and went back to sleep because I was seriously tired from being up so late/early... And my dreams were haunted by the reason behind it.

I was woken up to my friend Jenn calling me and telling me she was coming over soon so we could prepare for our dates together.

I'm currently still rubbing the sleep from my eyes and realizing that I seriously overslept. But hey, this is what happens when you stay up really late. Now I have to get ready for this date, and I don't even know how I'm going to survive this night.

I honestly don't know how to describe how I'm feeling at this point. I feel seriously conflicted. Whenever I'm with Ian all my worries go out the window, and I don't feel as bad for doing stuff with him... being with him feels so right.

But then I start thinking and I feel guilty, I let all the thoughts get to me and I dig myself into a little mental hole of shit. Ian helps me forget all that's holding me back. When he touches me my thoughts turn to mush and my skin ignites with desire. I can honestly say Sam or his touch have never made me feel that way.

Oh god and Sam... He's such a sweet and caring (and quite oblivious) boyfriend. I'm seriously screwing him over. I'm scared to break up with him because of the reaction I might get- and I don't want to lose one of my real best friends. How can I be such a horrible person that I'm taking advantage of and making Sam look stupid.

Just as the tears were about to start, I heard my doorbell ring, and bring me out of my thoughts. I shouldn't have been crying anyway, who cries over being a bad person?

I went downstairs to answer the door for who I figured to be Jenn.

When I opened the door she was beaming at me like a child, with a really excited look on her face. She noticed how I looked though, and asked "Babe, what's wrong?"

I put on a fake smile and said "What do you mean? I'm fine." Her own smile came back when I said this.

"Okay good, you better be because this date is going to be amazing!" Oh lord she was like a toddler on Christmas.

I'm shocked at how good I am at masking my feelings- or maybe she just didn't care to dig deeper about what was bothering me. Don't get me wrong, I do consider Jenn to be a friend (which takes a lot) but I don't consider her to be a real friend, or a best friend. Although we've been friends for nearly three years, we've always bumped heads and argued. I honestly consider Anne to be a more serious and trustworthy friend than her, but then again we've been friends practically since we were toddlers, and we've been through more as friends together.

We went upstairs and she pulled her outfit out of a plastic bag she was carrying. She was so excited and it was funny because she was trying to get dressed at the same time. I remember I didn't bother to buy an outfit for the date because I have enough clothes, I can just put something together that Sam hasn't seen before... not that I really cared what he thought when he saw me. Honestly I cared about the guy who wasn't my dates' opinion on how I looked.