Chimerical ~ Phan

Chapter 2: Let Go

Sup yo :3 I actually wrote this on a plane on my way home from America :33 Sorry it's crap and for the spelling/grammar mistakes, Enjoy.

Shit, shit, shit. That was the only word I could fathom throughout the week. Chris had actually done it. He had threatened to take away the only thing that keeps me sane. I couldn't bear to lose Dan. He knew that; but he did it anyways. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to forgive them- Pj included.

It was almost a week since the night they visited. My appointment was tomorrow. I had seriously considered not going. I lay restless night after night debating in my head. I could run away. Maybe I should go anyway. No, I'm gonna do it. I'm going to run away. Yeah you go girl- running away. I'm proud. I ended up chickening out. 

Even my mum noticed something was up.

"Phil, sweetie?" she asked. "Are you alright? You seem a bit restless"

"I'm fine mum, don't worry" was my response. Unlike many other parents, though, my mum continually inquired my well-being throughout the week.

"Phil darling. You know you can tell me what's wrong. Is it that Dan again? I wish he would come and visit you more often. You never seem to leave the house anymore"

"Mum! Please stop. I'm okay. Fabulous. Fantastic in fact" I spat. 

So. My didn't entirely know the truth about Dan. I honestly couldn't bring myself to face the consequences. For example what Chris and Pj had just done to me. She believed that he was just my best friend (though, most likely boyfriend but she never asked). She believed that he lived an hour away and we only ever went out places together.

She was of course worried as she had never seen him and knew very little about him, but as I was 20 I always refused her concern. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum dearly, and I understand she is just looking out for me, but I can't face questions about my sanity and I love Dan too much for him to be ripped away from me.

So this morning as my mum asked her usual question concerning my 'alright-ness', I replied with "I'm going out tomorrow in fact. Don't worry" She gave me a smile of approval and left.

I promptly left  after that- heading to my bedroom where I had spent the majority of the last 5 days worrying. Dan had tried to comfort me as much as possible, but the feeling of apprehension for tomorrow, was too bad. I eventually fell into a restless, unsettled sleep; Dan faintly pressed against my side.

 ~~~~

Today was the day. It would probably be the worst day of my life.

Pj and Chris made their way to my house early in the morning to ensure I actually went. I was torn between not caring what I wear and wanting to make a good impression as I chose my outfit. So I ended up wearing the first top my fingers clasped and a nice pair of black jeans. I couldn't stomach breakfast- dreading the worst for today. I held Dan's hand all morning, continually telling him no matter what they said, I will never forget him. Never.

 Dan, however, seemed oddly quiet today. Believe me; he's not usually quiet. He always has a sassy remark, a witty comment or an awful pun lined up ready. He was silent for the entirety of the journey and stayed silent even as Chris and Pj saw us off into the psychiatrists office.

I stared at the cushioned chair across from a women of around 30. She was a large, jolly looking women with dark, smooth skin and tightly braided hair. She wore a large red top with matching nail varnish. She had a large genuine smile on her face.

"Hello Phil. I'm Mona. Mona Evans. It's nice to meet you." She held her hand out for me to take. I gently shook it. "Take a seat" She indicated to the chair.