Jane And Austin

Chapter 25 - Cheat

He strummed the guitar and the song started, succeeding a tumult, everyone stood up except some boys, but after that I didn't look around anywhere else except the screen because my view had been blocked. The tempo was slow before the lyrics came up and then he sang, "Oh, what would I not do just to be with you?" His voice was already piercing my heart as I realised the song was about me, I knew I was going to be in euphoria for the next few minutes. It sounded like a pop song, and I knew I was going to be awestruck.

"Oh, with you I feel there's a void in me,
Because my heart is no more with me,
Will you keep it safe?
Oh.., will you stay...?
Oh, If it was up to me, I would go to the start,
And wait for you to steal my heart
And feel it again..
Oh, the thought of loving you forever makes me go insane.
Oh, you say I say I deserve be-tt-er,
But you are the best.
The best.."
The music continued and the resonance of my feelings accumulated in my heart were so loud that I could hear them. Goosebumps and chills. Austin was no more playing the guitar, the music was being handled by the band behind him. He roamed like it was his stage, like it was his night, like he knew nothing could go wrong. I envied him for the confidence he had.

"Oh, what would I not do just to be with you?
The things I do for you are so less,
I know I am such a mess,
How do I describe the feel when you caress?
There's nothing better than loving you.
The greatest bliss.
The euphoria,
The utopia.
And the ecstasy.
You are unmatched.
Our love is unmatched."
The crescendo had begun. The hall was echoing with the beautiful chords struck by him and his voice
"So you already have my heart.
Will you keep it safe?
And give me yours
For there's a void in me,
Waitin' for yours."
When only the music was filling the silence, some girls were screaming ardently. The jealousy in me was growing which was constantly getting subdued by the ecstasy filling my heart.

"Oh, what would I not do just to be with you?
Oh, I would do everything just to be with you.
Oh, I would do anything just to be with you."

The music and the voice fused in the air such that only the clapping and whoops of delight were left.
"He was like the sun and I was like the rainbow. I needed him to be complete, but he would never need me." The line echoed in my brain.
However, after the song ended, there were some girls shouting, "one more." I could feel the ashes inside me seeing them shout for him like I wanted to, but I wasn't confident and I didn't feel like I belonged there.
Austin sang one of my all time favourites- Perfect and then took the leave from the stage. I could feel the bliss, the pleasure, the content and the ecstasy taking the shape of my body residing in it . Every part of me wanted to meet him, I waited for mom to come back for a minute, amidst that a lot of chaos developed after Austin's performance. There were many girls rushing out from the door and I wondered what that was about.

A stout guy sitting two rows ahead of me said, "Well that was great."
And the girl sitting beside him said, "Indeed. Especially the first one. The lyrics were amazing." I didn't feel envious of them praising my guy that time, I felt proud. Of him. Of myself. Of being worthy to be loved by such a guy, but 'was I really worthy?' I thought to myself.

When mom didn't arrive, I fiddled with the buttons of my wheel chair and directed myself to find Austin. I went through the door, into the corridors where the winds whistled through the windows along with the sunshine, the walls were coloured with beautiful paintings. Aesthetic scenes, from birds to the Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. England's heritage was being portrayed along with Lansville's silent streets and sophisticated natural beauty. A smile on my face and a pounding heart filled with happiness accompanied me. After checking out some rooms on my way, I started to ask the way to the backstage. A man who looked to be in his 30s told me the way. I wondered if he was the teacher there.

I passed through the corridors. I felt like he would be there, I knew he would be. A green board hanging on the wall told me to take a right and on the way, the crowd was way more than I had seen throughout the way I had covered. A lot of the girls were giggling in their groups and whole lot of others were making their way back. I proceeded and finally found Austin. He was a few meters away from me, surrounded by girls. There were around 10 and even this time I wasn't envious for he deserved it. He was smiling and I could make out that he was saying, "Thank you." Also, he was interacting with them. There was a guy behind him and from the pictures he looked like the person Austin said was his best friend. Gary Anderson. I was the girl who was admiring her love from afar.

The rainbow was shining until I looked around. Then my heart sank. My heart was still pounding, but for a different reason. There was Susan a few meters away from him. Her eyes were constantly fixed at him and she peered at him. The girl who was actually admiring Austin from afar. The girl whose love was stolen from her by her best friend. I felt bad. She looked a little gloomy. From the place where I was, I could notice how dark circles had crept in her clear skin and she looked to have lost a little weight. Every feeling of ecstasy had turned into a feeling of dismay, despair, misery and sorrow.
Life takes turns in seconds.

Austin moved ahead and Susan's gaze shifted at him, but before I could allow them to look at me, I turned around and went to the lift as soon as I could. Tears in my eyes. Despair in my heart. It felt like I had cheated and I hated people who cheat. I was brought up that way, I remember how I used to stop talking to children who cheated.
I hated it and now I was doing the same thing. Cheating.. Same Jane Brown.