HOW LEE JENO KISSES NA JAEMIN

Urge to Confess

Chapter 12| Urge to Confess

"Close your eyes Jaemin"

"Lee Fucking Dumbass bitch Jeno! Why the fuck did I say that?!"

Sitting up on the bed rest for the 127th time, Jeno scratched his head and messed his hair annoyingly. It was already 2am and he couldn't sleep.

True that he pretended the kiss from the evening wasn't awkward in front of that boy but here he was, feeling like a complete innocent teenager having their first crush.

He pulled up the glass of water beside his bed and drained down through his dry throat. Just thinking about it made his face red and not to add the instant cure of rushing heart beats when he closed his eyes to imagine the cute lips he touched.

"Na Jaemin is dangerous. What is he doing to me?"

The water did help him calm down a bit. It was so unlike him to be feeling so embarrassed about something like this. It wasn't even his first kiss. Well, with a boy, yes but instead of feeling nothing he was feeling all sort of things.

He had been thinking about this the whole afternoon, trying to figure out what led him to lose control. He admitted that he willingly did it but that was exactly the problem. Why did he willingly kiss him? Not just anyone but someone who he always considered as a younger brother.

He was so scared to think of anything more than that line but it was even more wrong to kiss him romantically while considering as a family member. He definitely had crossed the line. And he would be too guilty to go back behind the line from now on.

"I..might really go crazy at this point. That little one won't even be thinking about it..he probably would forget about it already"

And oh boy, was he terribly wrong.

"I kissed him!! No...he kissed me! But I stole a peck during the kiss too..so we kissed each other! We kissed!! Hyung and I kissed! On the lips...It was so..."

"What what? So what?"

"I don't know...I didn't know how to properly kiss so I just stayed there like a dead fish...am I Park Shin Hye or what?! Arr...So wasteful of a chance!"

The other caller was obviously Renjun who was also regretting that he didn't see the two smooched this afternoon due to his urge to pee so bad that he had to leave before anything happened.  When he came back, the two were gone and that was when he got a text from Jaemin saying he would call tonight.

"I don't even want to deal with you at this point. What kind of person don't know how to kiss? Like you are telling me you don't practice with your hand or what?!"

"Practice with your hand?"

A heavy sigh was heard.

"At least you watched dramas and you can learn how they do it"

"I know but I was so startled that I forgot everything..I might never get another one for the rest of my life and I wasted it like this. Now he might not even want to kiss me because I am terrible at it"

"You really are hopeless. So what will happen now? Your hyung isn't going to be back into " little brother- older brother" after this right? That would be gross"

"I am never his little brother!!!"

"That's what you think but if he still acts like before, I am kidnapping both of you two and locked y'all in the same room until you fuck and give birth to three children"

"You are giving me headache Renjun. Please calm down. Even though that happened, my main goal is to go out on a date with him. And I failed."

The other line went silent for a while, seemingly brainstorming ideas since he was pretty much invested his time into making this work.

"Shamelessly ask him out again"

"What?"

"What do you mean by "what?" You've already done it once in the first place! I don't know what's restricting you from directly confessing him that you love him like a lover. I think that's the most effective way to make him change his mind on you. He might not give you the answer you expected to get but at the very least, it would never be back to normal ....and it's exactly what you want!"

Jaemin went silent. He was thinking. To be fair, it was partially his fault in hesitating about confessing. Just like Rejun mentioned, talking out about it would totally help him. But he was too scared to do so. The warmth and comfort Jeno gave him had always been like a sheltering love of a bigger brother. True that he always reminded him of how annoying he was but Jeno never really refused in despise. Therefore, confessing would be like burning down that shelter as a risk.

He might sound selfish but his aim was not only to change this relationship but also to have Jeno as his. Confessing would totally change their relationship but after that, the situation would be out of his hand.

"Just think about it Jaemin..don't rush. If baby steps are helping you then go ahead with it. If you feel like you need to pace up, go ahead because you know that Jeno hyung is finishing highschool this year and you are not. That means he will be off for college and you won't be with him for a year."

A sudden pang in his mind stuck in. That was it! He forgot about that. He forgot Jeno was leaving. He was so focused on other things that he forgot the main reason why he was complaining everyday....

"I...I need to confess...I..have to!"

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I know this is a short and terrible chapter. Coming up chapters will be longer!!