SATe [✔]

[7] phthartic

"Yeah..." I said, swallowing hard. As he stared at me with unmistakable compassion, I couldn't help but decide not to lie. I couldn't tell him any whole truths, but I didn't want to make anything up anymore. Any lie that escaped my mouth lately, had felt ill-shaped and painful to say.

"I think it's the only true distraction I have," I admitted, as I realised that my life had indeed been turned upside down. I felt uncomfortable in my home and around my friends. Every singular moment that I spent with a friend felt like an eternity nowadays, because every one of those moments I wanted to spill everything. I wanted to remove the weight from my shoulders and pass over the burden. But always thought against it, because there was an unfathomable feeling that none of them would be able to handle it. And I would not be responsible for any more hurt.

My work life felt the least tainted of the three despite the images of Henry popping in my mind every so often. There was an irrational belief in safety while I worked; as though I had complete ignorance that I had been attacked within the walls of a building that I spent many shifts. Even now, I was scheduled every Sunday evening to patrol the sixteenth floor and pretend one of my closest friends wasn't meant to be too.

"I don't know what's been going on with you lately, son. You were always someone who worked well, it's the only reason I put up with your incapacity to get to work on time and precocious playfulness. But you might be going overboard." He was still flicking through pages, and every so often would write down some scribbles on a notepad to his right; the pencil he was using looked close to snapping as he pressed it roughly into the page.

Eventually, he had let out a clenched-up breath and released the pencil from his grip. He brought his hands together and rested his chin on them. He stayed silent for a moment as his eyes scanned my frame almost as though he was looking for a weakness, "If something happened that you don't want to talk about, that's fine. Just take care of yourself, all right?" I nodded aggressively.

"Thanks, Chester. I promise I'm fine." I didn't want to talk about this anymore and mentally pleaded he'd move on to a new topic. It seemed those pleas found their way to his ears, as he soon stood up from the desk and passed a file over to me.

"Now that you're here, I need you to make your way to the centre of the city. There's been an outbreak of a riot and the government has called our detail in for extra support." He muttered matter-of-factly. I could see now that he'd been squaring me up; he wasn't sure I was physically, or perhaps emotionally, ready to go out and actively deal with something like this.

"A riot?" I asked. As a company we didn't tend to venture into things like this; but Chester himself had close ties with government figures, who in turn, had close ties with the police. Therefore, as a company, we were always an option when they needed outside help.

"I didn't get the details. I've called ahead and you and the rest of the guys must report to Sergeant Spencer, he's expecting you outside Heather Plaza." The name had intrigued me, like a neuron itch, but I didn't get time to ask any further questions before he had shoved me out the door to his office and left me to wrangle the members of the team I was often in charge of.

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The officer who had first approached me after I'd woken up outside of my home stood before me, far more decorated than he was then. A sergeant no-less. I couldn't picture that officer, the one who looked as though he'd seen the worst horrors in his life going on to be promoted from a regular officer to a sergeant.

But now as he stood in front of me, directing a group of his own officers to their designated jobs, I could understand why. The level of confidence that he showed to this entire room as he kept everyone calm and on task was astronomical despite the heavy task it seemed to be. I'm sure those horrors must have made him grow into a bigger, and better man. Something like that can only really do two things to a person; make you shrink, or make you grow, and quickly at that.