The University Files

Chapter 1: Prejudice

Chapter 1

"Hey! Earth to Amy!" Danielle waved her hand in front of my face.

"What?"

"I was asking you if you're alright. I mean, I know that you're not a big fan of Areneyow but that doesn't mean you'll just scowl around all day!" she said, exasperatedly. I smiled at her attempt to cheer me up by using the slanged-up version of Ateneo De Manila University.

We were waiting for the speaker to arrive at Ateneo's SDC Hall, where a conference about psychology, my course, was held. It was bigger than the conference rooms in our school, Adamson University.

And colder, I thought. In fact, it was so cold, I was trying hard not to make my chattering teeth obvious. It didn't improve my mood at all. Speaking of mood, although it wasn't a secret that I find everyone here as conyo, it wasn't why I was in a fairly grumpy disposition.

Danielle was still looking at me with a concerned expression, so I answered, "Oh, sorry. But no, it's not that. Just some I-hate-my-Dad problems. He'll pay us a visit within this week."

"Er, isn't that a good thing?"

"Not really, no."

"What's the problem, then?"

"It's a long story," I mumbled, already tired of the small talk.

"Come on, tell me about it. It might lessen the burden." 

I didn't really want to talk about it, so I just smiled and said, "Maybe next time." 

With a sigh, she let go of the subject.

You see, I was just 7 when I felt that something wasn't quite right. Although I was young, I already knew that my parents weren't happy. They were constantly fighting, arguing about stuff that I didn't understand back then. Thankfully, they never hurt each other physically. However, my mother's crying was enough to make me cry too.

I recalled clearly the day my father left us for good. It was my first day of school and I was crying because I hated being left alone. All I knew was that my dad was the one who accompanied me to school because mom was not feeling well. 

When we were dismissed, mom was the one who fetched me. Her eyes were red and puffy which didn't bother me at all since I'm used to it. What made me worried was that she was really quiet. She was a talker, my mom. Like literally, she never shut up. I expected her to shower me with praises and compliments for my first day of elementary school. What I got was an unusually vacant expression. When we got home, I understood. I didn't know how, but I knew that my dad wasn't coming back anymore. 

It took a while before my mom returned to her original, cheerful self. Until now, I'm not sure if her happiness was just for a show.

I constantly pestered her with questions about the reason why dad left. Her response was always, "We weren't happy anymore."

"Like I didn't know that," I used to say to her. She changed the subject every time.

I was 14 when she finally told the truth. They constantly fought over one thing: dad's gambling addiction. Nothing more. This bit of information bugged me so much because I knew that if it wasn't for that one bloody problem, they would still be together. They were so in love, my mom would say. They just didn't compromise over it so they decided to walk the road much traveled: separation.

It wasn't easy, especially for us. Dad was a businessman, albeit not successful. He earned a dainty amount when we were all still together. They didn't save enough, though. So when he left, mom and I were suffered the blow. We weren't destitute, but there were definitely a lot of difficult obstacles for the both of us. Without someone to help her, Mom spread herself thin just so we could both survive.