not just a pretty face - love island 2020

26

I go to bed quite quick after, not wanting to listen as the boys go on and on about how different Callum was in Casa Amor.

'Nah, I'm gonna go to bed.' Paige comes with me as I have another little meltdown.

'And now fucking, even Luke M's got Natalia. I'm well and truly out of options here Mush.' I laugh sadly at her, wiping my makeup off.

'No. Sursh, you're a diamond. You deserve someone that treats you like one. Not someone that you have to tell to do everything. Let fuckin Molly find out that he's a wet wipe, you focus on finding a gem to match you.' I smile at her.

- paige beach hut -

'I think the whole Callum and Molly situations a fuckin liberty. If I'm really honest. Seeing him walk in with another girl I was literally gobsmacked.'

'From now on. I will never, ever, question my gut ever again.' I change into my pj's, then head to the bedroom as Paige heads back out. And soon after Demi gets into the bed with me.

'Oh my god I haven't even seen you! I'm so sorry demi. I actually can't believe he's done that to you!' I shake my head as I remember Nas and Ava or whatever her name is.

'No! Don't be silly. I just hope you're good, and that you stay. We'll be the single pringles that eat all day.' I grin, hi fiving her.

Then the lights go out, and I drift to sleep, all alone again.

'How you doing gal?' Siannise hugs me on the day bed in the morning, giving me a cuddle. 'Good. Better, just frustrated.' I'd gotten up early to get breakfast.

'Good, we thought you'd gone in the middle of the night.' Demi and Paige hug me too.

'I just, wanna go home still though.' 'Oh no.' Demi shakes her head, pouting.

'You came here to find someone genuine. Didn't find it in Callum, doesn't mean you're not gonna find it in anyone else.' Jess, who appeared from nowhere, and Siannise tell me.

'I know, it's just the thought of being here uncomfortable, when I could be at home with my mum and my dad and brothers and friends.' I cry again, rubbing my eyes now there was no mascara left to cry off.

They all hug me, rubbing my back.

'Honestly though Sursh you're gonna come out of this stronger, wiser, better, more glowed up, more trust in yourself. Badder.' Jess says and I smile, nodding.

'If Khloe Kardashian can get through 2019, I can get through this.'

Everyone laughs cheering, my non Casa girls squeezing me in a group hug.

Then 2 hours later, I get a text. 'I've got a text!' I yell. 'I'm scared.' I read it briefly.

'Fuck sake.' I laugh dryly.

'What!?' The girls ask. 'Saoirse and Molly, it's time to head out and talk things through.' Everyone gasps, cringing for me.

'#comparenotes.'

I sigh. 'I don't wanna fuckin go if I'm honest. Clearly don't have any notes if she's better than me in every way.' I laugh sarcastically, heading to get ready.

I straighten my hair and pull on a cute white day dress.