A Marauder's Guide to Falling Forever

Chapter Thirty Eight

The promise of better days to come with his recovery was all she could cling to as she left the hospital that day.

But later that night, before the usual nightmares had a chance to make their unwelcome appearance, she was awakened from a dreamless sleep when something shifted on the bed. Her hand reached out for Sirius's body to bring him closer, but he wasn't there. Her eyes snapped open as her hand stretched across the open space to feel for him, her slender fingers desperately clawing around the cold, empty bed sheets. A sudden quickening began to dance rhythmically within her chest.

"Sirius?" she called out, panicked. Since that night at the hospital he hadn't once left her alone at night, an unspoken agreement she had come to heavily rely on. As the light filtered in from the window and her eyes adjusted, her peripheral caught sight of his dark form sitting at the end of the bed. His back was mostly turned to her so that his face was hidden by shadows, and a flood of relief washed over, instantly calming her racing heart rate.

"What's wrong Sirius?" She angled her body to see him better, moonlight pooling in through the window and lighting up the expression on his face. He was dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, his expression dark and void of emotion. He was staring at the wall, completely still like that of a stone gargoyle.

"Regulus," he stated, offering nothing further.

"What about him?" Marlene probed curiously, stifling back a yawn. Sirius didn't talk about his family. It was a conversation she never felt inclined to inquire about, already knowing enough about them to make up her mind that they weren't worth knowing about.

"He came by tonight," he said, his voice soft and distant. "Just now."

For the second time that evening Marlene's heart seized in her chest and she spluttered tangibly, "Wh-what?! Here? To our place?" She still had difficulty thinking of the flat as her own, even though she had been living in it for a few months. But the words rolled effortlessly off her tongue somehow at the prospect that she was no longer safe in the place they occupied together.

She watched his dark figure nod slowly before he spoke. "Don't worry. I don't think he's a danger to you..." he stalled for a moment before continuing. "To us."

"How do you figure that?" Marlene clenched the sheets of the bed and held them tightly to her body, feeling violated somehow. Too many questions danced around in her mind, but she only managed to vocalize a few. "Why didn't I hear him? Why didn't you wake me?"

Then Sirius turned his head and she realized he wasn't as emotionless as his tone implied. His eyes held more than a hint of pain, a storm threatening to drown them both right there in the loft. "He's turned. I always knew that life was too much for him. But he learned it too late. I saw it at the hospital. I saw that he wanted out...I wish that he had just let me help him then...when I offered."

Marlene's mind was still racing. "Why was he here Sirius?"

"He came to apologize. And he - and he confirmed my theory that we have a spy in the Order. He just doesn't know who. Voldemort has kept whoever it is hidden away, likely for reasons such as this. He doesn't know anything about the prophecy though, I believe he would have told me if he did." He sighed, raking a shaky hand through his hair, diverting his eyes downward and away from her. She could sense his evasiveness and that there was something else he wasn't sharing with her.

"What else Sirius?" Her voice was soft, cautious.

His gaze flickered upwards to meet hers. "Said he knows how to stop him. Rambling on with some nonsense. But he couldn't tell me and he didn't stay long because...well, I suspect that he knows he's as good as dead." His voice cracked, and then became much quieter. "He came to say goodbye."