Sarawat's Story

Part IV: Reminisce, Dismiss, and then Kiss

Wednesday morning, like all my mornings, started with thoughts of Tine. It had been three days since he had come crashing back into my life. In the year since the concert, there had been depressing moments when I had to admit to myself that the probability of ever seeing him again was near zero percent. I had begun to prepare myself for heartbreak. But then, there he was, just as beautiful as I had remembered, back in my life once more. Tine was pursuing me, something I had never imagined would happen. Admittedly, he had never expressed any romantic interest in me: he was only chasing after me to get protection from Green. But I believed I would be content just having Tine around.

Equally as surprising as Tine's reappearance was how Green and I had become close friends. I had hung out with Green before, but it had always been with Dim as well. Green and I were cordial on campus and that was all there was. We had never spent any time together, never carried on any meaningful conversations. But suddenly we were friends. It felt freeing, almost therapeutic, to be able to talk to Green about the rollercoaster of emotions I was feeling about Tine. Green could be attentive, demure, and understanding, and I needed that type of friend now that Tine was a part of my life. Green had stopped being simply an extension of my friendship with Dim.

Thinking of my unexpected friendship with Green made me miss Boss and Mann. Tine and Green had begun taking up the bulk of my time and energy. My attention had shifted away from my two childhood friends. But Boss and Mann had not treated me any differently after I confessed to them my attraction to Tine, and they seemed happy now that I would have the opportunity to get to know him. But I subconsciously feared that if the three of us ever talked deeply about how I was feeling for Tine, I would lose them as friends. They had never really questioned me about my sexuality, and I had never actually volunteered much information either. But I needed them to know what was going on, and I needed to know that they would accept me. I decided to invite them out for drinks as soon as possible.

I was about to leave my apartment to head to class when Green messaged me. His text was simple: I'll meet you in the lot again this morning, and I have some breakfast for you. Green was a great cook; I had eaten meals with Green and Dim which Green had prepared, and on the weekends, Green worked at a catering company in town. Talking with Green about Tine over breakfast sounded like a great way to start my Wednesday.

I arrived on campus a little before eight. Green was standing in the student parking lot, a small round container in his hand. He waved energetically when he saw me. Once I had parked, he slid into the passenger seat and greeted me with a snarky "I know you only rushed to campus to get food from me!" He opened the container and the car filled with the scent of fresh cooked congee porridge and pork.

"I assume Tine's Facebook status was your handiwork?" Green asked as he offered me the food. I nodded, then began eating quickly. The food was incredibly delicious. Green watched me eat for a moment and when he saw how much I was enjoying the food, he continued talking. "A lot of Tine's friends and followers replied to that status. His two friends replied with question marks, and so did some of his female friends. But he got a lot of smiley face emojis and winking face emojis." Green stopped for a moment, then added, "I replied with a frowning face emoji because that's what I'm supposed to do as the guy trying to get his attention, but then Dim replied to my response with crying face emojis." Green sighed, then shook his head dismissively. "Anyway, how did you get into Tine's Facebook?"

I couldn't wait to tell Green everything. In between bites, I told Green what had happened the day before, sparing no details. Reliving the story made me giddy, and I couldn't believe how eager I was to tell someone about how I felt. Green listened to me babble on and on, almost like I was a young child telling a parent about how much fun I had at an amusement park. I kept wanting to tell Green more and more. I ended my story with how I had fallen asleep looking at pictures of Tine. Thinking of those pictures again, I closed my eyes and smiled.