My Heart's Unspoken Words

If only I could speak my heart's words to you.
If only I could put you through what you're putting me through.
If only I could make you understand.

Your words hold weight on my conscience.
Your actions play on repeat in my memory.
Your unforgettable image is painted in my mind.

My heart can barely take it anymore,
it folds in on itself trying to protect what little I have left.

My body instantly raises it's walls when you come around,
scared of the fate it may meet around you.

My mentality can't just be changed back so easily,
you brought me to this ever since I was a child.

My age and mental maturity are two different things.
I may be young physically, but that doesn't mean I can't understand.

It doesn't mean I can't understand real world problems.
It doesn't mean I can't understand what you're doing to me mentaly.
It doesn't mean I can't understand what's right and wrong for me.
Really, it doesn't mean I can't understand a lot of things.
My age can't and won't control my level of understanding.

I know what's happening because I made the effort to learn.
I took the time to come to understandment.
There is no set age for when you can learn about something to understand it.

I'm learning who I am.
I'm helping others.
I've made mistakes and grown from them.
My past won't be a chain, but rather a sign of growth.

And you need to wake up and realize that things are different.
You can't stop time from moving forward and taking me with it.
I am growing and learning with each day...

But, of course, I will still remember the life you gave me.
The picture you painted of yourself,
The fear of trusting others when I couldn't even trust you,
And this weak part of myself that you made.
A part that still doubts my possibilities.

If only my heart could speak these words to you.
If only you could feel what I felt in order to come to these words.
If only you were in my place, then you'd understand.