Every Cloud in the Skies

Chapter 3

For the rest of the day, I had to battle my anxiety. I really felt bad for not going to the cemetery. I just don't want to go...but what if she's there waiting for me? My pizza came and I ate about half a slice because I couldn't stomach the food. I tried to play some video games but I would keep devolving back into my thoughts, so I went to go take a nap. It took awhile for me to fall asleep but I was determined to keep my eyes closed. I woke up a few hours later. It was 6:30 pm and my mom still wasn't back. I got a text from her saying that she was going to keep shopping with Alyssa and would probably be back late. I felt groggy and sick, probably due to the fact that I haven't eaten anything yet. I went back to the kitchen and grabbed some slices of pizza, not even bothering to heat them up and I watched some youtube while eating.

Mom and Alyssa came home at around 9:00 pm holding shopping bags and ice cream. I could hear them giggling outside the door for a few minutes before they calmed down and actually came inside. Mom greeted me and walked over to the kitchen, acting like the day had been boring or something. I felt guilty for making them feel like they weren't allowed to have fun around me. The fact that they didn't want to come in until they had calmed down says a lot about what our house is usually like now-a-days. Alyssa walked over to me and handed me a little box and a spoon.

"We got you a banana split." she said.

"Thanks" I replied. She ran off to her room to put away her new things. I got up to put the ice cream in the freezer.

"Not hungry?" mom asked, looking at the pizza box. I shrugged at her, still feeling a little anxious and awkward around her. I closed the freezer and started walking toward my room.

"Hey" she called softly. I turned back to her.

"I'm sorry for being so hard on you, ok? Since your dad left, I've been struggling to stay afloat. It's okay to mourn and it's okay to miss our loved ones but we can't let that stop us from living our lives, okay?" she said, looking at me with concerned but loving eyes. I nodded.

"Come here." she said, motioning for a hug. I went over to her and she hugged me tighter than ever. It was uncomfortable for me. My mom acted like this two other times from now. Once was when Sky died and once after I woke up in the hospital.

"And you can't keep skipping school, ok?"

"Okay" I mumbled.

"Good." she said, handing me two shopping bags.

"I bought you some new clothes. Go try them on and bring back whatever you don't want so I can return them." I took the bags and went to my room. I closed my door and let out a sigh of relief. She's never apologized to me before. I opened the bags on my bed and found some shoes, two shirts, and new jeans. For a moment, my anxiety subsided, and it felt like I was living an ordinary life.

Ping

My phone went off and when I checked it, I saw the text from Kita.

"We have a mandatory meeting on Monday, you NEED to be there Ethan." she said. My blood ran cold. I know what this text meant. Whether I go or not, they're going to kick me out of the group. Still, I asked,

"What's the meeting about?"

"Ethan, Please show up. This is honestly your final warning. If you don't come, we're done...I'm sorry." it read. I didn't respond, I shouldn't have asked.

"Fuck" I cursed to myself. I put my phone on silent and grabbed my laptop to open up my google drive. I'm not even sure why I still try to write songs, none of them even get finished anymore. Writer's block really is the biggest pain in the ass, especially when your band wants to kick you out. I glance over at my guitar and get nauseous at the idea of picking it up; realizing that the band had every right to kick me and it would be in their best interest too. Getting up, I walk over to the guitar and put it in the closet where I can avoid looking at it. It's honestly the same routine every day. Just as I closed the closet, I heard a knock from my door and my mother's voice calling through.