opposites attract | gotpink [new version]

. fights and chaos .

He felt a nudge on his shoulder from his best friend, who held his hand to the small balcony away from the noisy company. His eyes squinted the moment it met the sunlight.

"You look uglier than zombies," Jaebum commented, closing the door behind them.

Jinyoung furrowed his thick eyebrows, wrinkling his forehead as he crossed his arms in defense. "It is Jennie, right?"

"How many days haven't you slept this time?" He evaded the question by asking another one, which unreasonably triggered Jinyoung's sensitivity.

"Don't give me this look and answer my question," Jaebum insisted, refusing to give up, and Jinyoung could tell from his stern look. It was only a matter of seconds before Jaebum's determination wavered, and Jinyoung knew he would soon surrender, playing the promise card against him.

"Five days," He huffed as he watched Jaebum's scowl was replaced by softness and worry, his friend's hand reached his tired, heavy shoulder.

"Fuck, Jinyoung, it's too much. At this rate, you will collapse."

"Possibly, yes... I don't want to face my nightmares; I need a break from the attacks. I must avoid the possibility of it happening in front of Jisoo or Mark." He let his worries out, features twisted into fear and concern.

"Mark?"

"He keeps checking on me, asking about my sleep and if I'm playing around! What am I, his son? I miss our fights at this point!" Jinyoung complained.

"Playing around has never been the solution, so don't blame Mark because he cares."

"Whatever, I will manage—"

"Why don't you take your medicines?"

It looked like a simple question, more like an obvious solution to his miseries except that it was completely bizarre and he hated it from the bottom of his heart. His medicines never worked. Haunted silhouettes would visit him in his dreams, punishing him for not playing with them during the day. Not only were his medicines ineffective, but his life wasn't any better.

"I'm not sick! They neither take them nor the nightmares away nor the following attacks, not like your magical ones. They cure nothing. Why don't you understand?" His hatred slipped from his mind to his tongue unfiltered as Jaebum's hand slid off his shoulder, looking down at the pain he caused.

"I used to deny the fact I'm sick and need treatment. But, thanks to you and Jennie, I had the urge to at least lessen the actions that hurt the people who care about me." His voice was low, turning his back to Jinyoung as he made his way to the small balcony door.

"My medicines aren't magical and don't always work, but they are my only hope,"

"Jaebum, I didn't mean to---"

"You can crash into my studio. Let's talk when you calm down," He left with the door sealed shut behind him.

Besides, someone told him that the punch in his heart was a sign that things were deteriorating, and it wasn't the fault of the energy drinks. He could taste the bitter flavor of regret on his tongue for hurting Jaebum, just as he had hurt everyone else around him.

Their presence in his nightmares often blended with reality, serving as a constant reminder that he never deserved the life he was living every time the blinding sun disappeared behind the clouds. It was evident that hours slipped by when the woman he dearly loved in a white dress, hugging the one he cared about the most at the edge of the rooftop, asking him to join them because they missed him.

His eyes glistened with tears as if it was the first time. "Mom...Dad... I miss you" He shakingly whispered as he approached the edge, as they opened their arms wide for him.

"It's your fault, your fault." His brother's loud voice was his reminder to repeat the three words that brought him to sanity.

"They aren't real."

"They aren't real."

"They aren't real."

"They aren't real."

He said it like a mantra over and over, watching the blood staining their beautiful figures before they would beg him to fall with him one last time.

His body was barely holding on, as if engaged in a physical fight. His eyes were dry and heavy like stones, and a headache plagued him like thorns. He could feel himself losing control, especially when his wobbly legs finally gave way and hit the ground.

'I'm fine, I can do this,' he whispered, as he took deep breaths to recollect himself until everything stopped spinning, still blurry.

The sound of the door creaking pierced through his senses, causing him immense discomfort. He instinctively grabbed his head, finding balance by leaning against the rooftop's edge. With closed eyes and clenched teeth, he desperately tried to suppress the agonizing pain surging within him.

"Oh, you are here! Where have you been all day?... Jinyoung, are you okay?" He heard Jisoo as she placed her hand on his.

Jinyoung nodded. Her palm felt tender, yet heavy against his weak body that he weakly took it off.

"Fine,"

"You don't look or sound fine at all,"

"Stop it!" He yelled as if her silence could alleviate the pain in his sensitive nerves, but nothing ceased. Every sound echoed loudly and painfully until his body reached its breaking point and crashed, forcing a shutdown that subjected him to his worst nightmares.

In his attempt to escape his fears, he found himself confronted by the very monsters he had unintentionally nourished. With their sinister whispers, they gained control over him, manipulating him like a puppet on strings. He felt trapped in the suffocating darkness, burdened by an overwhelming weight pressing upon his chest.

"It's your fault,. You killed them."

"Please, go away."

"It's your fault,. You are a killer."

"I'm sorry...Please, don't leave me alone, Hyung."

"You should have been dead instead of them."

There came a moment, perhaps unnoticed, when he became aware of his own breath, the tight grip on his sheets, and the sweat and tears drenching his body. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it all ceased, but his semi-consciousness and through his blurred and unfocused gaze, he could vaguely make out the figure of Jaebum. Maybe once or twice, or even just as a silhouette. However, amidst all the chaos and tormenting voices in his mind, there was one voice breaking through, shouting loudly that everything would be alright.

Whether it was his imagination or reality, his friend's presence and the tight hold over his shaky hand made him feel safe in the chaos. Even though it questioned his sanity, just like his other hallucinations.