Can Private Sam able to survive with a group of dumbasses in a middle of a boxed canyon?
the OC Sam is owned by me
Red vs Blue is owned by "Rooster Teeth"
Warning: slow updates
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Simmons: "Why Warthog, sir?"
Sarge: "Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: "I know, but why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig."
Sam: "(Grif are you hungry again?)"
Grif: "Surprisingly not."
Sarge: "Hold up say that again."
Grif: "I think it looks more like a puma."
Sarge: "What in Sam Hell is a puma?"
Sam: "(You don't what a puma is sir?)"
Simmons: "Uh, you mean like the shoe company?"
Grif: "No, like a puma. It's a big cat, like a lion."
Sarge: "You're making that up."
Sam: "(Oh my god I'm surrounded by idiots.)"
Grif: "I'm telling you, it's a real animal!"
Sarge: "Sam, I want you to poison Grif's next meal."
Sam: "(Which One? He has like EIGHT plates for dinner!)"
Sarge: (pauses) "Dammit!"
Sarge: (pointing at the front of the Warthog) "Look, see these two hooks? They look like tusks, and what kind of animal has tusks?"
Grif: "A Walrus."
Sarge: "Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!"
Sam: "(I really am surrounded by a group of idiots.)"
Cliff
Cut to Church and Tucker.
Tucker: "What is that thing?"
Church lowers the rifle
Church: "I don't know, man. Looks like uh.. looks like they've got some sorta car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it."
Tucker: (taken aback) "A car? How come they get a car?!"
Church: "What are you complaining about, man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."
Tucker: (Disappointed) "You can't pick up chicks in a tank."
Church: "Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything couldn't you? We're going to get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?"
Tucker: (sighs) "What kind of car is it?"
Church: (Looking through the scope of the sniper rifle) I dunno, I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a... uh... like a big cat of some kind."
Tucker: "... What, like a puma?"
Church: "Yeah, man, there you go."
Red Base
Sarge: "So unless anybody has anymore mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're going to stick with the warthog. How about it, Grif?
Grif: "No, sir. No more suggestions."
Sarge: "Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot?"
Grif: "It's okay."
Sarge: "Unicorn?"
Grif: "No really. Uh, I'm cool."
Sarge: "Sasquatch?"
Simmons: "Leprechaun?"
Sam: "(Boarbatusk? Ursa?)"
Grif: "Hey, he doesn't need any help, Guys!"
Sarge: "Phoenix?"
Grif: (Sighs) "Christ?"
Sarge: "Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats."
Simmons: "Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir."
Sarge: "Hey Grif, Chupathingy! How about that? I like it. Gotta ring to it."
Sam: "(This is what you get for destroying one of my secret projects Grif.)"
