Chapter 17

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#A3KayaMoYan


"Rani?"

Napatulala ako nang makita ko si Dustin. Hindi ko kasi alam kung saan ako magsisimula. Kasi aside sa sigurado akong buntis ako ay sigurado din akong siya ang ama. And as an educated person, alam kong may karapatan siyang malaman na dala-dala ko ang anak niya. 

It's only been like almost a month na buntis ako. 

Pero ang hirap sabihin.

Lalong-lalo na kung hindi pa naman talaga established ang relationship niyong dalawa.

I always regarded Dustin as a fuck buddy lang.

Kasi yun ang first impression ko sa kanya. 

Hindi ko pa din alam kung mahal ko ba siya talaga.

I gulped.

May binulong si Jacob kay Dustin. 

Kung sino man ang si Jacob na yan, thank you kanina. 

"Rani..." Tawag ulit sa akin ni Dustin.

"You, okay?" Jacob asked me.

Napalingon naman si Dustin sa kanya na para bang tumatango na din.

"You two know each other?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, she's the girl who refused to go with me when you arrived at the airport." Sabi ni Dutin. Ah siya pala yung susunduin sana ni Dustin sa airport pero nagmamatigas akong ayaw sumama. At iyon ang first time na sobrang nagbabangayan kami ni Dustin sa loob ng kotse. Tapos ang ma-pride naming dalawa. 

Napaiwas ako ng tingin.

"I gotta go." I said. 

I looked at Jacob for the last time and I saw his eyes staring at mine.

"Thank you." I mouthed.

Dustin didn't say a word. 

And I didn't even reply to him after he mentioned my name several times.

I think it's better this way.

Pagkatapos ng divorce namin ni Andre ay saka ko aayusin ang lahat. 

I'm sorry, Dustin.

"I'll go now," I said as I excuse myself.

But Dustin took my hand and was waiting for me to say something. Baka obvious lang ako masyado na pakiramdam niya ay mayroon akong gustong sabihin. Oo, gustong-gusto ko sabihin pero I don't wanna make it worse. In fact, wala namang kami. And I needed to save my company muna before lalabas ang baby ko. That way, mas hindi magiging complicated ang situation.

"Why do I feel like there is something you wanted to tell me?"

He is indeed quick-witted.

"There's nothing. Just... thank you for taking care of me last time. It helps... it helps a lot." I managed to remain calm and relaxed without stuttering. 

Napatango siya.

"I just realized na sobrang delikado pala buhay mo ngayon."

Napakunot ang noo ko.

"Give me your phone." Sabi niya.

"What for?" I asked.

"I'll give you my number and tell me if you're in danger."

Then, I should've called you right now.

I am in a dangerous and risky decision-making stage right now. 

Kasi this is my first pregnancy and hindi ako kasal. 

Pero ikakasal din pero sa ibang tao.

Ang gulo. 

I sighed.

I gave him my phone.

I shall give him a call after the divorce. 

Sounds like a plan.

I gulped.

He exchanged both our numbers and I feel so obligated right now to tell him na may laman na tong tiyan ko pero don't... Rani. Don't. Just don't. Not right now. Please.

"So, I guess I'll see you then."

I saw Jacob from behind waiting for him.

Nung paalis na si Dustin ay pinapanuod ko lang na tuloyan na siyang mawala sa paningin ko.

Ganun lang.

Umuwi ako kaagad at nag-open ng YouTube app.

I searched, 'How to cook vegetables' 

Dang it.

I tried for 20 minutes pero hindi talaga para sa akin ang pagluluto. 

Ang hirap pala talaga kapag nasasanay ka sa mga bagay na dapat ay alam mo. If I were to be a parent, no matter how privilege I may be, I will have my children practice cooking. Mahirap na kapag forte mo ang mapag-isa pero hindi naman marunong magluto. 

I settled with delivery food nalang. 

Pero I ordered healthy dishes. 

And I ordered a lot.

Mahirap na kapag may cravings, wala akong lalaki na bibilhan ako sa gitna nang gabi.

I can always utos naman my employees.

Pero ayokong mag-kompyansa. 

Kasi for now, tinatago ko ang pregnancy ko.

Wala pa namang baby bump.

At dahil ayokong hintayin na halata nang buntis ako, pinapabilisan ang pag-settle sa partnership namin ni Andre. 

Immediate meetings are held.

The shareholders and investor are now loyal, again. Funny.

Kaya ayun.

After my dinner, I googled a lot of healthy practices habang buntis.

And since my Mom isn't with me here in the Philippines. I settled with dealing with all of this on my own. Thanks to the information posted online, at least my knowledge na ako kung anong ga bawal kainin, anong position matulog, anong mga magandang exercise for a pregnant woman. Mga do's and don'ts lang naman pero it truly helps. 

Let's go, Rani.

Kaya mo yan.

Tomorrow, Andre and I will meet again. 

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