Why Can't I Change

Chapter Four

Taylor's POV
I was texting Rainy all week about Candace and I was also texting Candace all week before and after school too. She's really funny and she's smart and I just like everything about her. Rainy already came up with a ship name 'Taydace', I told her I hate it but she still uses it. Rainy is a little hoe so she is always messing around with someone.

I walk into school with Autumn and Candace beside me "Good Morning!!" Eli says happily skipping to us "It's too early in the morning" Autumn says drinking her coffee "Too early in the morning to be happy" Eli says confused "She hasn't finished her coffee yet" I smile at the smaller girl who just smiles back and leaves.
"You should be more nice to her" I say "Why" Autumn groans "I agree with Tae Tae, you should be nicer to her she's sweet" Candace said making me blush at the nickname "Tae Tae?" Autumn smirks making Candace blush too "Let's go to class" Candace says grabbing both of our hands and walking to the next class.

"We are having partners for this project we are doing this month. Make sure your partner is someone you will be fine spending a lot of time with and you will have to go to each other's house" The teacher told us "Want to be partners" Candace asked, I looked at Autumn who was looking at some boy who was looking at her "Autumn, are you fine with me being partners with her?" I ask since we are always partners "Yea Yea whatever" she says not paying attention to me "I would love to be your partner" I smile "I mean your partner for this project...not that I wouldn't want to be your partner outside the project but also you were talking about the project right" I said very fast that is was barley audible "Shhh it's just sad now" Autumn says covering my mouth making Candace laugh "Want to be partners?" The boy who Autumn was staring at said leaning in front of her "Sure" she smiles "I'll see you two at lunch" she said going to the boy's table "We have the next class together?" Candace said to me "Just leave it" I laugh which makes her laugh.
"Do you want to do the project at your house or my house?" I ask "Either one is fine. If we go to mine it's just going to be like last time, just you, Rona and I" she tells me smiling sadly "Well you get the final decision" I tell her wanting her to be as comfortable as possible "I really don't want to leave Rona alone" she says quietly "Then we will stay at your house" I smile she smiled and we went to our next class when the bell rang.

Candace and I sit beside each other across from Autumn "What was that about" Candace smirks "What?" Autumn said still kinda zoned out "You like that boy in our science class" she smiles "No I don't" My best friend blushes for the first time in a while. Autumn is always so strong and trying to show no emotions like me but when she likes likes someone she falls for them hard. I'm fiddling with my fingers under the table which I guess Candace sees because she grabs my hand and intangles our fingers. Oh god my stomach is doing flips now "You totally do and he likes you" she says "How do you know that?" Autumn asks looking at our hands intertwined, raising an eyebrow at me then looks back at Candace "He wouldn't have asked you to be his science partner if he didn't" I laugh "That means nothing" she says "It kinda does" Candace says "You two are science partners" Autumn smirks "N-no but...t-that's different" Candace stutters "You can't just backfire this on us" I say playfully "Oh so there is a 'us' now" Autumn smirks "W-what? N-no" I stutter shaking my head "Anyways, Candace do you like anyone yet?" She asked looking at us holding hands "Any girls or boys" she adds "Umm, Yea I do actually" she blushes. She likes someone? Is it me? Or maybe Autumn? No she can't like Autumn, I mean she can but I really don't want her to "Who" I blurt out which made my best friend smirk "Can't tell you" she smiles "Oh stop being a middle schooler" Autumn teases "I'll tell you she's a girl" Candace says which makes me smile, so I know for sure she's into girls, but it's probably not me. My leg starts shaking under the table "Are you okay?" Autumn asks concerned "Hey calm down" Candace says letting go of my hand and putting her hand on my thigh to stop me from shaking which freaks me out more "I have to go!!" I say loudly and run to the bathroom.

I check to see if there is anyone in the bathroom and when there isn't I rinse my face with water and slide down the wall onto the floor, which is pretty clean for a bathroom. Autumn walks into the bathroom and locks the door "What was that?" She asks "I don't know" I tell her "You just started shaking and left. That's not normal for you" she says sitting beside me, she holds my hand and we sit in a comfortable silence. "It's okay to like her" Autumn tells me, I don't respond I just keep looking forwards "It's okay to like girls Tae" she adds, a few singular tears start to run down my face "Taylor look at me" she says turning my face towards her "I've known you for pretty much my whole life. I've always known there was something different about you but good different. You never liked the boys the girls did in elementary. You would hang out with the boys but never had a crush on them. You tried dating some boys and you weren't happy" Autumn says, she wipes my tears with her hand "It's okay" she whispers, I slightly smile at her and she returns it. I put my head on her shoulder and we sit there silently "How did you know?" I ask "You would always stare at girls or want to be the dad when we played house when we were younger" she laughs which makes me laugh a little "Is that why you're always defending LGB-" I couldn't bring my self to say the full word it would make me cry even more knowing I wasn't accepted "Yes, that's one of the main reasons I defend it" she smiles down at me "I love you Autumn" I say "I love you more" she says.
The bell rings and we head out the bathroom door and go to our next class which I have with Candace again.

I haven't spoken to Candace since lunch even though we have a lot of classes together. We were leaving the building when she caught up with us "Is she okay" I heard Candace whisper to Autumn who just nodded and smiled "Hey" she says to me "Hi" I respond "Can we work on the project over the weekend? You can stay at my place" Candace says "Let me ask my parents" I tell her getting on the bus with my siblings. I look out the bus window and she's just standing there looking sad until Autumn puts her arm around her and pulls her away from looking in my direction.

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