Why Can't I Change

Chapter Two

Taylor's POV
Autumn and I are sitting in class when I hear the word, the word that could describe me, the word that is hated on in this school "Homosexual people" the teacher said "They are sinners, they are going to burn in hell" she added, a girl in the front raised her hand "I'm not homophobic but they shouldn't kiss in front of people, it could give kids the wrong message" the girl said. I rolled my eyes, not homophobic my ass. "Why?" Autumn challenged "Excuse me?" The girl said "Why shouldn't they be able to live their lives freely like everyone else in the world" Autumn asks "They shouldn't get equal rights it's not fair!!" A boy chimed in "How isn't it fair? Chad!!" Autumn says "Are you gay?" A girl behind us said with a disgusted look "No but I do support them" Autumn said proudly which made me smile "Enough" The teacher said "The bible said don't be a homosexual. So we as Christians will not" she told us going back to the lesson. I wanted to say something but I knew they would call my parents and tell them I'm a sinner and I don't know what would happen if they found out, they would probably kick me out the house just for being a supporter, I don't want to know what they would do if I was actually into girls.

"Why were you defending gay people?" Eli asked Autumn at the lunch table "Because I believe everyone is equal" Autumn smiles and cocky smile "But their gay?" Eli says "Looks kid, I'm not going through this again" Autumn says annoyed "Let's go" I say getting up and Autumn happily follows.

"What happened in the principals office?" I asked when we sat at an empty table outside "They called my parents and said something about me condoning others sins and being disrespectful" Autumn says shaking her head "That's stupid" I say thinking about what the school would do if they knew about me "Whats up?" She asks, I didn't answer for a moment "Have you heard of Lauren Jauregui?" I ask "I don't think so. What's one of her songs" Autumn asks "Expectations, Lento, 50ft" I say listing the ones I remember "No, I don't know her" She says "Well she's a great artist" I say smiling "You went out your comfort zone?" Autumn laughs knowing I don't usually to do new things, not because I'm scared but because I never know where to start "Shut up" I tease playfully pushing her arm. "Come on, we need to get to class" I say pulling her to our next class.

I get home and I want to look up this Lauren person some more "How was school" My parents asked in the kitchen making snacks, my siblings answered like they always do and I went up stairs.
I didn't know where to start so I googled her name. It says she's an artist, who was in a girl group called 5th harmony. I clicked on a video and started watching it, the whole video was about her and some other girl in the group that people thought were together; her name is Camila. I start to watch some of Lauren's personal videos, there was one of her cooking so I pressed it. In that video she said she doesn't like when people assume stuff and it really gets on her nerves, I'm assuming she's talking about the rumour of her and the other woman. I decided to see if the group still hangs out so I look on Instagram and look across some fan pages. These look fun, all the people here treat each other like family. Wait!!! She's openly Pan-sexual, what does that mean? I look it up and read what it means. Cool, she's like me. Maybe I should make an account.
"Tae!! Dinner!!" My brother said running up the stairs then running back down. I put my phone on the charger and go downstairs.
"So honey, you never told us how your day went" My mom said "It was fine" I responded eating my dinner. "We learned about homie sexuals" My little sister said which made my eyes widen 'please no' I think "Homosexuals" my brother corrected her "Oh sorry" she said continuing to eat her food "Those people are sinners and are going to hell. It's not natural. It's disgusting. No real Christian accepts homosexuality" My mom told us "Oh" my sister said questionably. The rest of the dinner was my mom talking about God and stuff like that.
When dinner was over I finally went back to my room.

Once I entered my room, I went to Instagram to make a Lauren fan account. So that's what I named it "Lauren.Fan.Account". I followed Lauren herself and then some fan accounts. I have received some welcoming messages from other accounts asking what my pronouns were so I just said I'm female. I looked at an accounts story and accidentally clicked 'yes' on a poll but didn't worry too much about it until that person messaged me on Instagram. She said hey and I responded back with hi and we started talking and she texted "You put yes on my poll, so do you want to play?" She asked "Play what" I texted back confused, then I looked at her story "Sure" I texted back before she responded and we started playing Fortnite together on PS4. Her name is Rainy and I told her my name is Tae for safety purposes. I wasn't planning on using my fan account and I am probably going to delete it in a few days. Rainy sucks at this game (🙂😉) but it's okay. It was fun talking to her. Turns out she's gay.

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SUP, so this chapter is kinda like the best part of my life. This book isn't about me though like at all. But this story line about the online friend is a very important part of my life because I was bored one summer and made a Choni account because I was bored😂and accidentally clicked yes on a poll that this girl did. She texted me and I was like huh? But I went with it. We talked everyday, she was being nice and I was being nice and it was fun. She's gay and I was kinda closeted to my self (I didn't want to be gay because homophobic family and shit) but she helped me a lot just by being there and being her gay self. We started talking like actually friends and not just being nice all the time. Turns out she's an evil bitch🙂but I still talk to her till this day. We have been friends for a little over a year now and we text everyday. She's still evil but she's like the little gay sister I've always wanted. I wouldn't be me without her. I don't love you bro🤣That's it, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. (The Fortnite idea was hers😂)

Exhibit one of her dumb ass😂