dreams

𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐲

i woke up with a jolt , my mind instantly thought of him as i recalled memories of last night ' s dream . you can call me crazy but it almost feels like i could sense his presence here ... somewhere . perhaps it was just my imagination .

i sighed , looking around my fairly plain - looking bedroom . just a minimum amount of sunlight peeked through the curtains , illuminating the room just by a little bit . it was kind of dark outside still , probably it was 7am in the morning .

my gaze found its way to my bedside table where most of my framed photographs were , but there was one particular one which caught my eye , making me hesitantly pick it up to inspect it more carefully . tears clouded my vision as i tentatively touched the photograph . it was a picture i took with him on our first anniversary . it ' s funny how it such a long time ago but yet it felt like it was just yesterday .

holding the framed memory close to me , i cried , letting out all the agony i ' ve been holding back all this while . it hurts to recall those joyful memories . as ironic as it seems , he was the cause of my happiness and my sadness . i almost felt guilty for wishing that he was still here with me . it was all my fault , i couldn ' t help him . i know i am being selfish for wanting him back but i can ' t help it .

i really miss him