Tudor Rose

vi. sisters

I picked Lucy up and twirled her around, hugging her tightly. It was a very unladylike thing to do, but I didn't care. When I put her back on the ground, I made sure that I was still at her level so she could talk to me without straining her neck.

"Aunt Anna!" she exclaimed, "Are you really going to marry the king?"

I smiled at her. "Yes, and that makes you the soon-to-be Queen of England's niece. Isn't that exciting? Oh, and you'll have little princes and princesses as cousins, too."

"I can't believe it! It can't be true!" She clasped her hands together from excitement, bouncing up and down a little. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

I smiled at her lovingly. No matter how many children I had, Lucy would still be the first little girl I ever loved. 

__

June 12, 1511

"What do you think of her?"

I glanced over at the miniature portrait Henry was examining. The girl had red hair and turquoise eyes. She seemed lovely, except that her eyebrows looked like they were fiery bushes.

"She's pretty," I said simply.

Henry decided to help me pick my new ladies-in-waiting. I was insistent on making Chloe one of my ladies, and Henry begrudgingly agreed after I explained that, since she's family, she'll be incredibly loyal to me. I also chose a fifteen year old girl named Amy Coleman, who I thought was pretty enough, and seemed like she'd be a nice girl. Her sky blue eyes were what drew me to her the most. The other two were undecided, and I was so indecisive that it seemed impossible.

"Her name is Sarah Gavell, and she's from London. Her family is ridiculously rich, and she's seventeen years old, just like you," Henry said, reciting the standard facts about each contender. After the first few, they all began to blend together.

"I suppose she'll do. Have a letter sent to her family," I said, sighing. 

"One more. We've looked at all of their portraits. Personally, I think these two are the prettiest," Henry said, holding up two miniature portraits. "Not as beautiful as you, of course," he added quickly.

The first one was plain, with ebony hair and dark eyes. She could've passed as my cousin or a distant relative if her face wasn't so round and freckly. The other was Sarah Gavell's sister, Mary, who was fifteen. Other than her nose and eyebrows, she was a replica of her older sister. She seemed like the obvious choice.

I pointed to Mary's portrait. "Her. I don't want to separate sisters."

Chloe. Amy. Sarah. Mary. I ran the names through my mind continuously, determined to remember them and their faces.

Henry smiled at me. "Good. I'll make sure those letters get sent. I have to go now." He stood up, and before he left the room, planted a small, delicate kiss on my forehead.

The kiss, something a normal engaged couple probably did many times in a day, sent a tingling sensation throughout me. We had never kissed me in any way before, and even though it was something so minuscule, it gave me all the motivation I needed.

I was going to be the Queen of England, and nothing would stop me.

__

June 16, 1511

The wedding date slowly crept closer and closer. June 19th became an immensely important date — it was our wedding day.

When my ladies in waiting arrived, apart from Chloe who was asked to just walk in with them since she was already at court, I was beyond thrilled. They all looked freakishly similar to their portraits, though I suppose that was a good thing.

They were all sworn in, and then I walked off, finding a cozy chair to read a book in. I couldn't really focus, though. Too much was happening around me to sit back and read. My entire life was about to change. I wanted to be a good queen, who the people admired and cheered for. I wanted to be a good wife, too, and have a life with Henry.

But it all came down to heirs. What would happen if I couldn't give Henry a son, or if the son I did give him wasn't healthy? Would he let a daughter ascend to the throne? Would he even keep me as queen, or would I be tossed away like an unopened letter?

"Mary, come here," I said, motioning to a chair near me.

She came over obediently, but I could sense the nervousness and fear. Her red hair was tied back, but a few stray strands framed her face. Up close, I could see the lightest freckles on her face. Really, the only thing Sarah and Mary shared were their parents and hair color.

"Have I done something wrong, my lady?" she asked, eyebrows furrowed from the panic.

"No, of course not," I said, "I was only wondering if you were pleased to be here. I would never want to keep you here if it made you unhappy. Please, tell me about yourself."

She sighed, relieved. "It's very generous of you to invite me and my sister here. I have many brothers, but only one sister, and I love her dearly. Being separated would be dreadful."

I stared at her blankly as she described a feeling so foreign to me. "Really?"

"Yes. My sister is my closest friend," she told me proudly, "Don't you have two sisters, as well?"

I nodded silently.

"Are you not close with your sisters?" Mary said, scrambling for an apology, "I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, no it's alright," I said. "You may go now."

She nodded and scurried off, probably feeling a bit embarrassed and guilty.

Suddenly, I was very sad. It seemed like I had everything in the world, but nothing all at the same time. I had a fiance, but I didn't have much of a relationship with him yet, unless endless card games and chess was what most engaged couples spent almost all their time together doing. I had a broken relationship with Elizabeth, and Beatrice rarely spoke with me unless it benefited her. My father was intent on using me as a pawn, and my mother was too scared of him to stand up for me.

I felt utterly alone in a castle full of people who were about to bow to me.

Before I came to Hampton Court Palace, I thought I knew everything.

Now, after spending time there, it was clear that I knew nothing.

_____

published august 4, 2020