Don't Tell My Brother

Chapter 8 - Morning After

Things happened very quickly after that. Lucas had snatched his glasses back, pushed past Damien, edged his way around an icy Mallory with a mumbled "excuse me" and dashed down the stairway before either of them could say or do anything. No longer caring about sticking out, he elbowed his way through the suffocating crowd of drunken teenagers, making his way back to the room where Alex was. She'd read the panic on his face, and before he had to explain she was already taking him by the arm and pulling him out the door.

Soon they were walking down the darkened street and the party was fading away behind them, until Lucas couldn't hear the music at all. He wished he could leave everything else behind too.

"So," Alex began tentatively, glancing up at Lucas, "what happened?"

Lucas had been expecting this. He paused, trying to think of how to put it. "Nothing."

Because that was the truth. Why was he so wound up about nothing? They hadn't done anything. Nothing had happened, nothing was going to happen, so it was fine. The fact that he couldn't scrub it from his mind didn't matter.

Alex didn't buy it. "Did you see Damien?" There was a knowing look in her eye that Lucas really didn't like.

Nail on the head. Lucas groaned. "Yes. But it's not like that, we- I mean, he didn't do anything. It was fine."

"Okay." Alex looked at him, head tilted to one side, but didn't question him any further. She could tell when he wanted things left alone, a skill which Lucas appreciated in moments like these.

Which Lucas was incredibly grateful for. The less they spoke about it, the less he'd have to think about whatever had just happened, and the sooner he could put it behind him.

***

Having work the next day did make it a little harder to put the incident out of his mind. That, and the way that he seemed unable to stop thinking about it. They'd been about to kiss, he was almost sure of it. Though Lucas had very limited experience with kissing, because he was pretty sure kissing Amber Reeves at her fifth grade birthday party and then running to wash his mouth out didn't count.

This only raised more questions. If Damien had kissed him, would Lucas have kissed him back? Did Damien want to kiss him? Did Lucas want to kiss Damien?

No, Lucas decided. No, I don't. Damien was immature and a dickhead and never took anything seriously, and had been kissing another girl minutes before he'd tried...whatever he'd tried with Lucas. Not to mention Mark would probably never forgive a betrayal like that. He hadn't even considered that until he'd seen Mark's football boots by the door. His brother had no problems with him dating boys, but dating that boy...not that Lucas wanted to date him, of course. No. If Mallory didn't kill him, Mark probably would.

Groaning, he rubbed his eyes, splashing some water on his face in the bathroom and blinking blearily into the mirror above the sink. He was dreading work, which wasn't that unusual anymore. Putting on his glasses and brushing his teeth, he began to make a plan. Plans were calming. Plans made everything easier. He'd go to Damien, explained that whatever happened wouldn't, couldn't, happen again, and then everything would go back to normal. Simple, easy, uncomplicated normal. Just the way he liked it.

***

Seeing Damien on Sunday morning almost made it easier. He was leaning against the shop window, relaxed and painted gold by the sun. It banished the Damien of the night before, in that dimly lit bedroom with the thrum of distant music and his pounding heart.

Lucas' first instinct was to tell him to get off the glass before he smudged it, but that would've just been an excuse to avoid what he'd really meant to say. The sooner he got this over and done with, the sooner everything could go back to normal.

He walked up to Damien, feeling strangely self conscious when the other boy glanced his way.

"Look, Damien." He began, and Damien raised an eyebrow expectantly. "Whatever happened last night was...I don't know what it was. A mistake. Nothing really even did happen, but if something had, it would've been bad. I don't know what came over me. Maybe it's because I had a sip of something in someone's cup. Which I knew was a bad idea, I mean the germs alone are enough..."

Lucas Sawyer, member of the debate team since middle school, master of careful, rehearsed speeches, was rambling. He could hear it, but couldn't stop himself. What was wrong with him? All that nervous energy needed to get out somehow, he guessed. But why was he nervous? This was nothing. He ploughed on, before Damien could interrupt.

"Right. Anyway. I don't even plan to date until college, or maybe even after that, because school is just so important. And if I was going to date anyone it wouldn't be you, because you're..." He gestured to Damien vaguely, as if he could convey his point through hand movements. "...you know. An asshole, and definitely not my type, and really irritating and honestly a little stupid. Besides, you might have glandular fever. I heard it was going around, and you seem to put your mouth on a lot of people, so if anyone..." How did he get here? Lucas realised he'd been talking for too long. He needed to wrap it up. That'd been too much.

"Point is, Damien, I want to forget it ever happened. Or forget that something might've happened. Whichever."

He took a deep breath, relieved he'd managed to get it all out. Damien was watching him, and for a moment, Lucas couldn't sworn he looked a little stunned. Then the corner of his mouth curved upwards into a smirk. A confident, smug little smirk. The kind that Lucas hated.

"You done?"

Lucas sighed. "Yes, I'm done."

Damien pushed himself up off the glass, until he was standing directly in front of Lucas. "You think I want to date you? You?"

He looked Lucas up and down, and all of a sudden Lucas felt very small. He straightened up, not about to be intimidated by Damien of all people.

"I don't date. But if I did, I could have anyone I wanted. From Sunnyview or Mountbank. And I definitely wouldn't want you."

Lucas couldn't deny that those words stung a little. As much as he focused on school, he had to admit that sometimes he wouldn't have minded something else. Someone else. But that would've been a distraction. Besides, he'd find better company at college. Smart, interesting guys who he could talk to. Not arrogant assholes who slept around and made it their life's mission to annoy him.

"Good, because you're the last person on Earth I'd date." He shot back.

"I don't know." Damien responded, still looking unbearably cocky. "You got pretty worked up over nothing. Maybe you wanted me to kiss you. Maybe you wish I had."

"The thought of doing anything with you disgusts me." Lucas said, trying to keep his voice as cold as possible, despite how irate he was.

He hadn't been worked up, had he? He thought back to the near sleepless night, and his word vomiting minutes ago, and grimaced internally. Okay, maybe he had freaked out. A little.

To Lucas' annoyance, Damien laughed. "Wow. Charms like that, no wonder you get so many girls. Or guys, right?"

Lucas genuinely did look disgusted then. "I'm not trying to charm you. I told you, I don't want to do anything like that with you."

Damien considered him for a moment, tilting his head to one side. In the sun, his brown eyes shone amber, and Lucas could've sworn they were burning a hole right through him. "Bullshit. Everyone does."

"That's impossible, because I don't find you attractive at all."

"Not yet."

And before Lucas could make a remark about his ego, Damien stepped into the bakery, leaving Lucas standing on the sidewalk and feeling a lot less relieved then he should've been.