The Eye of the Beholder [boyxboy]

Chapter XVI

~Saturday 18th June 2016~

"Can't you even give me a hint as to where we're going?" River whined, pulling on a t-shirt, taking a moment to admire the bare muscles flexing on Gray's back as he mirrored the action, "I feel like you're kidnapping me, this isn't fair," River was close to stamping his foot on the floor and pouting, although he wasn't sure that would help. Gray was a stubborn bastard and, if he had got it into his head that River wasn't to know their destination, then River wouldn't get to know.

"Just look pretty, baby boy, that's all you need to worry about," River could hear the smirk in Gray's voice, and wasn't sure he liked how smug the man was being. However, he definitely disliked surprises even more.

"Well, it's not dinner, I'm not fancy enough for that," River speculated, perching at the foot of the bed, his eyes following Gray as the man turned, watching him too. God, he was damn attractive. Even covered by a t-shirt, his physique still stood out, making River look positively scrawny in comparison. He had tried to build muscle mass himself, he just didn't have the body for it. Either way, he preferred to admire it rather than own it. Gray made it look so much better than he ever could.

"And it can't be just going to a movie, you wouldn't care what I was wearing for that," River narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "you want me to meet someone, don't you?" Judging by the flicker of irritation across Gray's face, River had hit the jackpot, "oh, great, because you know I'm just such a people person," River muttered sarcastically. Really, he was deflecting from his true emotion, anxiety. Sarcasm was the only way to hide it, even though he was more scared than he could imagine. He had never been with one man long enough to do the rounds with the family and everyone else, it was pretty frightening for him. He didn't want to screw up, not after Gray was clearly putting in so much effort with their relationship, he didn't want to disappoint him.

"You'll be fine, Riv," clearly, Gray was trying to be comforting to the boy. The trouble was, 'you'll be fine' wasn't as effective as everyone believed. River had already fallen into the trap of manifesting every terrible scenario in his mind, and there weren't as many good ones to balance out the odds. He was going to screw up, he was bound to. He would say the wrong this, or make the wrong move, or just fuck up royally in some other way. Everything he had with Gray would be lost then, they had had a good run, he supposed, even if he-

"River, get out of your own head," Gray knelt in front of the boy, lifting his head, forcing their eyes to meet, "you're spiralling, baby, you don't need to do that," Gray caressed River's cheek with tender movements, smiling at the boy even though he could see the anxiety hidden in his eyes. River wasn't the only one feeling apprehensive about the meeting, Gray was too. That meant the people meant something to him, meant a lot to him, if he cared so much. They couldn't just be friends. God, River was going to meet the parents.

"What if they don't like me?" River wished he didn't sound so sullen, wished he could have been stronger for Gray since he wasn't the only one that needed some reassurance. Sadly, that wasn't the case, in the end. River was a child, and children feared. They couldn't cope like adults could and, no matter how much River told himself, he just wasn't grown up enough yet to deal with the situation as Gray was.

"They'll love you, baby, who couldn't like you? You're amazing," flattery was nice, when it was realistic.

"I'm an ass, Gray. I'm vulgar, I'm immature, and I'm snarky. I'm also twelve years younger than you, who's actually going to accept that with open arms? I'm really doubting here that I'm going to be invited to Thanksgiving," River sighed, leaning forward to rest his head against Gray's, he wasn't helping by being so negative, "I'm sorry," he added in a mumble, "I'm just scared," River didn't want to ruin the day for Gray by adding more worries to the ones that he was already dealing with. The only way he was going to grow up was by himself, he had to start that day.