Best Of Me

Chapter 8

Hayleigh's POV

I was shaking by the time I let myself into my house. I stared down at the shirt I was wearing...Ryan's shirt, and began sobbing. I never should have went to Ryan's house last night, and the fact that Morgan saw us in bed together made it worse. It didn't matter that nothing had happened, I knew how it looked.

I felt sick. I ruined multiple lives all because I fell in love with two men. Two completely different, amazing men who just happened to be best friends.

I had no choice but to end it with Ryan after Wade got sick. It broke my heart to pieces, but there was no way I could leave Wade. He needed me to be the wife I should have been along. Heartsick, I encouraged Ryan to make things work with Morgan. He was going to need someone, and she was good for him.

I had hoped for Wade's sake he would never have to find out about Ryan and me. We had covered our tracks well, but I had no idea that I talked in my sleep.

It was never supposed to happen this way. Wade and I were supposed to live a long and happy life together. Ryan should have found happiness with Morgan.

I just couldn't let go of the past. I couldn't let Ryan go.

The bottom line is I never should have married Wade, even though I did not know Ryan's feelings for me at the time. I loved Wade, but it was Ryan who set my soul on fire. I never should have married one man while I was in love with another, and that's something I'm going to have to live with the rest of my life.

I was so afraid of losing one of them, that I lost them both.

How did I ever get to that point?

I didn't take long for my marriage to Wade to go south, and when it did, I went running to the person who was always there for me...Ryan.

"What's going on Hayles? You sounded freaked out over the phone?" Ryan asked, a look of concern on his handsome face.

"Wade wants us to have a baby." I blurted out.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm guessing you aren't ready for that?" He asked.

"No, I'm not, but he thinks that having a baby might fix things between us." I said tearfully.

He put his arm around me and led me to the couch to sit down. "I'm sorry. I didn't know y'all were having problems. Do you want to talk about it?"

I began sobbing. There was really no way to talk about it without the truth getting out. But then again, the truth really should have come out a long time ago.

"I made a mistake Ry. We never should have gotten married. The first couple of months were fine, but lately he's been getting restless, and we're constantly fighting. When he brought up having a baby, it floored me. That's the very last reason to bring a child into the world." I cried.

"Did you explain your reasons for not wanting a baby? Maybe go to counseling? Why are you even fighting in the first place? Why do you think it was a mistake?" He asked, and it was too much. Too many questions all at once.

I took a deep breath. "I told him I'm not ready for a baby. I have not even thought about counseling because it wouldn't make a difference. We are fighting because he says I've been distant, and he's right. I can't tell him why though because the reason I've been distant is because I'm in love with someone else, and that's why getting married was a huge mistake."

The look he gave me crushed me, because he looked so disappointed in me, so hurt, but now was the moment of truth. I had to tell him. I knew I stood to lose everything, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. "It's you Ry. I'm in love with you. It's always been you."